{"id":2671,"date":"2014-10-14T07:50:43","date_gmt":"2014-10-14T14:50:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/?p=2671"},"modified":"2016-02-16T14:34:02","modified_gmt":"2016-02-16T22:34:02","slug":"october-14-2014-the-little-juncos-last-moments","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/october-14-2014-the-little-juncos-last-moments\/","title":{"rendered":"October 14, 2014 &#8211; The little junco&#8217;s last moments"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"fcbkbttn_buttons_block\" id=\"fcbkbttn_left\"><div class=\"fcbkbttn_button\">\n                            <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n                                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/plugins\/facebook-button-plugin\/images\/standard-facebook-ico.png\" alt=\"Fb-Button\" \/>\n                            <\/a>\n                        <\/div><div class=\"fcbkbttn_like \"><fb:like href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/october-14-2014-the-little-juncos-last-moments\/\" action=\"like\" colorscheme=\"light\" layout=\"standard\"  width=\"225px\" size=\"small\"><\/fb:like><\/div><\/div><p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Dark-eyed_Junco-27527.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-large wp-image-2672 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Dark-eyed_Junco-27527-1024x1024.jpg\" alt=\"Dark-eyed_Junco-27527\" width=\"400\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Dark-eyed_Junco-27527-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Dark-eyed_Junco-27527-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Dark-eyed_Junco-27527-600x600.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Dark-eyed_Junco-27527-100x100.jpg 100w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Dark-eyed_Junco-27527-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Dark-eyed_Junco-27527-200x200.jpg 200w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/Dark-eyed_Junco-27527.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Listen to this post:<\/p>\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-2671-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/20141014-Post-1.m4a?_=1\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/20141014-Post-1.m4a\">http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/20141014-Post-1.m4a<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>Yesterday morning, as Bo and I took off for our hike up the hill, I saw a little darkish ball of something on the sidewalk in front of the house.\u00a0 I got closer \u2013 not letting Bo get to it \u2013 and saw that it was a little bird (I looked it up online and think it was a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.allaboutbirds.org\/guide\/dark-eyed_junco\/sounds\">junco<\/a>) with its beak tucked under a wing, all curled up.\u00a0 I was concerned about it, but decided to let it be. When we came back it was in the same position, about a foot away from where it was.\u00a0\u00a0 I went in to call Wild Care to find out if I should pick it up and move it to a place where it wouldn\u2019t be so vulnerable. When I came back out it had uncurled and was lying on its side on the sidewalk, eyes open and not responding when I nudged it with a leaf.\u00a0 The sweet little bird had died.<\/p>\n<p>Being there on either side of this little bird\u2019s death told me what to write about today \u2013 because I\u2019ve been watching something in my consciousness and have been resisting writing about it.\u00a0 You see, I\u2019ve been noticing myself ponder \u201cthe last time\u201d of a lot of things.\u00a0 It occurs to me that there will be a last time for <i>everything<\/i>.\u00a0 \u00a0As I\u2019m painting, I think, one day, there will be a last painting I ever make.\u00a0There will be a last time Bo and I hike up that hill, a last kiss that Joseph and I share, the last time we will sleep in this house, or go to Kauai, or&#8230;. \u00a0I even go to the point of thinking of the day the last human is alive on the planet and the last bit of energy emanates from our sun.\u00a0 It\u2019s a star and stars burn out.<\/p>\n<p>Some of these \u201clast times\u201d are not so momentous. We will probably not live in this house for the rest of our lives, so the last night we sleep here we will know that it is and can be present to it, grateful for all the rest and shelter this house has provided to us. But will I know which is the last painting I make? Or that <em>this<\/em> is the last kiss?<\/p>\n<p>There is another version \u2013 that<em> this<\/em> is never to be repeated. Often it\u2019s in the kitchen.\u00a0 I make a soup with the bones and juices from a leftover chicken that had rosemary and a bit of lemon in it. To the broth I throw in the cauliflower\/leek gratin leftovers, and some cold mashed potatoes, puree it up with a bit of milk and grated parmesan and it\u2019s soup we start meals with over a few days.\u00a0 I know I will never make that same soup again, the ingredients are never the same.<\/p>\n<p>Eee-gads!\u00a0 What am I doing, thinking this way?! \u00a0It\u00a0all seems quite morbid! \u00a0But it\u2019s true, it\u2019s real.\u00a0 Nothing in our manifest world is forever.\u00a0 Everything dies, ends, runs out or cannot be repeated.\u00a0 And we want it that way.\u00a0 If I think about, even feel into, being immortal, my physical body living on and on and on into forever, it\u2019s dreadful.\u00a0 The endlessness is heavy. There is a blandness, even a torturous-ness to it. \u00a0But more importantly, I think that if things don\u2019t end, then nothing is precious.\u00a0Taken to a finer point, the moments of my life \u2013 our lives \u2013 are each distinct and different and are never to be again. For me thinking this way is a huge call to mindfulness &#8211; to be awake and present as much as I can.<\/p>\n<p>I absolutely <i>do<\/i> live in the trust that the sun will come up in the morning, warming our planet for billions of years yet and that Joe will come home and give me a \u201chello, Honey\u201d kiss this evening. But, paying attention to the \u201csomeday\u201d keeps me awake for this morning\u2019s \u201chave a good day\u201d kiss (which we just shared!).<\/p>\n<p>I was lying in bed this morning thinking about all of this and wondering if I think about these \u201clast times\u201d all the time, how do I not get despondent, what keeps me inspired? \u00a0And I felt the skin on my body, warm and alive, I felt my body being breathed, without my having to think about it. I felt the eternal. The life force, the Source \u2013 for me it\u2019s God. It animates it all, <i>us<\/i> all.\u00a0 My faith is that God is never-ending.\u00a0 It\u2019s the \u201cwhy\u201d in my life &#8211; it gets me out of bed, connects me with Joe, Bo, you all \u2013 it gives me the energy to write this journal entry.<\/p>\n<p>Ok, so there voice in me is saying I can\u2019t believe that I\u2019m writing about this. It\u2019s quite trippy and I\u2019m quite sure this is <i>so<\/i> not all there is to say about it. I\u2019d love to know what it brings up in you, and what your experience is.<\/p>\n<p>On another note &#8211; I finished a painting and will update later today. \u00a0Bright fall color &#8211; different than anything I&#8217;ve done before. I&#8217;m looking forward to what you think of it.<\/p>\n<p>Wishing you color and light today.<\/p>\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Listen to this post: Yesterday morning, as Bo and I took off for our hike up the hill, I saw a little darkish ball of something on the sidewalk in front of the house.\u00a0 I got closer \u2013 not letting Bo get to it \u2013 and saw that it was a little bird (I looked [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2671","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-stories"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.2 - 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