{"id":2782,"date":"2014-12-02T14:10:04","date_gmt":"2014-12-02T22:10:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/?p=2782"},"modified":"2016-02-16T14:12:25","modified_gmt":"2016-02-16T22:12:25","slug":"december-2-2014-practice-devotion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/december-2-2014-practice-devotion\/","title":{"rendered":"December 2, 2014 – Practice and devotion"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Listen to this post:<\/p>\nhttp:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/20141202-Post..m4a<\/a><\/audio>\n

\"altar\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I am part of a coaching group.\u00a0 We are a remarkable group of women who are bringing our purposeful work into the world, with the support of each other and our gifted teacher and mentor, Lissa Boles.\u00a0 One of my sister-coachees, Lyn offered to me a self-study experience of a program she created called Nine Days to Peace.\u00a0 Doesn\u2019t that sound wonderful? Nine days and I have peace?\u00a0 I have never easily created structure for myself and for a while I have had been living with this desire to re-commit to a daily spiritual practice, so I said a big \u201cyes\u201d to her offer.<\/p>\n

I started my nine days on November 22, the new moon.\u00a0 Farmers have been planting seeds under the new moon for eons. The energies of the dark night are good for beginnings.\u00a0 We all start in the dark of our mother\u2019s bodies.\u00a0 Newness emerges from the darkness.\u00a0 On the first day I spent a few hours puttering in my \u201cpink room,\u201d a second sleeping room in our house, where I sleep often.\u00a0 There\u2019s a bay window and my grandmother\u2019s old sewing machine on the side of the bed where I set up an extended altar space with meaningful objects from my mothers, grandmothers, teachers, dear friends, Paris \u2013 and my Joseph – so they all would accompany me each day as I practiced.\u00a0 I added candles and hung \u201cFull Circle\u201d \u2013 a painting with a lot of my journey in it \u2013 above everything.<\/p>\n

Then I faithfully started the nine-days, lighting candles, creating my intentions, writing in my journal, having sweet time connected to myself, my deepest longings – and the God of my heart.\u00a0 I played sacred music, I listened the recordings of Lyn\u2019s guidance she provided me. Even as I write this, I slip into the soft, lovely feeling of the space I created. \u00a0For several mornings I continued. It was just what I was hungering for.<\/p>\n

And then, Thanksgiving happened – we hosted 14 for dinner.\u00a0 I got pulled right out of my morning rhythm by all the to-do\u2019s.\u00a0 I managed to circle back in the evening to light a quick candle and read my intentions before bed \u2013 absolutely exhausted from all the do-ing.\u00a0 The day after, I stayed in bed until 10:45. I can\u2019t remember the last time I\u2019d been in bed that late! \u00a0I\u2019d slept and rested through the time I\u2019d sit and be focused on my practice.\u00a0 And, though I didn\u2019t do much on Friday, I didn\u2019t circle back \u2013 until the end of the day\u00a0again to quickly read my intentions before bed.\u00a0 The spell had been broken – I\u2019d drifted away from my practice after six days.\u00a0 I had to drag myself back to it on Saturday morning to finish the last two days. I did finish the nine days, at the very least reading my intentions to myself every day. But at the end I was left feeling like I\u2019d not done it \u201cright.\u201d<\/p>\n

I started the process with a bright, shiny optimism about what was to come of the nine days.\u00a0 I know this about me \u2013 and it\u2019s a sweet part of me.\u00a0 But there is a naivet\u00e9 to it.\u00a0 I forget about the long haul.\u00a0 The long haul is where it all happens.\u00a0 Mastery comes out of time with butt in the chair.\u00a0 This is still a muscle I work \u2013 I maybe always will.\u00a0 I have no problem getting wholly enthused about a new exercise class or avoiding sweets for a while, or a renewed plan to paint every single day.\u00a0 And then life happens. I get off track and things get loosey-goosey. \u00a0And…I remember I\u2019m a feminine being, and we feminine beings are most naturally oriented by what happens outside of us.\u00a0 This is how it\u2019s meant to be.\u00a0 Our babies need us to care for them in the moment they need it, not when we are ready to come out of ourselves. \u00a0But even after the babies are grown, it\u2019s work, real work to follow our inner selves consistently.<\/p>\n

I am a big believer that whatever is revealed is perfectly ordered.\u00a0 My prevailing intention about myself and my process is to refrain from making anything about me \u201cwrong.\u201d\u00a0 Of course<\/em> I got off track because of Thanksgiving! Of course<\/em> it was hard to come back when I was exhausted!\u00a0 The fruit of the nine days is this: a deeper level of acceptance of this aspect of my nature.\u00a0 Accepting that this is how I am gives me a new way to engage with staying on track.\u00a0 There is a part of me that is quite idealistic; it so wants for my dreams to unfold smoothly and effortlessly. When I lose focus, that part makes stuff up about how I\u2019ll never be, never have\u2026 whatever my intention is.<\/p>\n

I see this dyamic in myself and others in our painting journeys.\u00a0 One not-insignificant aspect of joining one of my weekly groups is the structure of – at least once a week \u2013 actually sitting down to paint.\u00a0 There\u2019s no laundry to fold, no email to respond to, it\u2019s time to paint. Otherwise (and I know this intimately) it can be so hard brush off the distractions.\u00a0 Painting is a spiritual practice to me.\u00a0 It\u2019s a devotion.\u00a0 I just looked up the word devotion<\/em>. There are several meanings. Two are \u201cdeep love and commitment\u201d and \u201cgreat dedication and loyalty.\u201d \u00a0These things don\u2019t mean anything if it\u2019s easy all the time.\u00a0 Devotions are inherently not-easy<\/em>.\u00a0 We bring ourselves to them in the face of what pulls us away.<\/p>\n

Today, I sit with these guideposts:<\/p>\n