{"id":2818,"date":"2014-12-23T09:11:27","date_gmt":"2014-12-23T17:11:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/?p=2818"},"modified":"2016-02-16T14:09:40","modified_gmt":"2016-02-16T22:09:40","slug":"december-23-2014-blessed-black-labs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/december-23-2014-blessed-black-labs\/","title":{"rendered":"December 23, 2014 &#8211; Blessed by Black Labs"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"fcbkbttn_buttons_block\" id=\"fcbkbttn_left\"><div class=\"fcbkbttn_button\">\n                            <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n                                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/plugins\/facebook-button-plugin\/images\/standard-facebook-ico.png\" alt=\"Fb-Button\" \/>\n                            <\/a>\n                        <\/div><div class=\"fcbkbttn_like \"><fb:like href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/december-23-2014-blessed-black-labs\/\" action=\"like\" colorscheme=\"light\" layout=\"standard\"  width=\"225px\" size=\"small\"><\/fb:like><\/div><\/div><p>Listen to this post:<\/p>\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-2818-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/20141223-Post.m4a?_=1\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/20141223-Post.m4a\">http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/20141223-Post.m4a<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/our-three-dogs-composite-smaller..jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-2819 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/our-three-dogs-composite-smaller.-e1455660540497.jpg\" alt=\"our three dogs composite smaller.\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/our-three-dogs-composite-smaller.-e1455660540497.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/our-three-dogs-composite-smaller.-e1455660540497-300x225.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Joe and I have had three black Labradors \u2013 all boys.\u00a0 Well the first one, Bud, was really Joe\u2019s dog. He was nine when Joe and I started dating &#8211; when I lived in a house that had white carpet and a white sofa.\u00a0 It was my girly-girl house.\u00a0 My dad called it my little \u201cbijoux.\u201d\u00a0 After my divorce, I just <em>knew<\/em> that I\u2019d share my life with another husband and I wanted a period of time when I could live in a more feminine and refined house than would be comfortable for the kind of guy\u2019s-guy I\u2019m attracted to!\u00a0 The first time he came over with Bud, I put blankets down on the carpets and instructed them that he had to stay <em>right over there<\/em>, with all his black dog hair.<\/p>\n<p>Joe was diagnosed with lymphoma six days after our first date.\u00a0 So within a few weeks, we not only knew that he was going to become very sick from the chemotherapy treatments prescribed for him, but also that we were \u201cthe one\u201d for each other.\u00a0 So he, and his black dog moved in with me in my white house.\u00a0 Joe had to stay overnight in the hospital for the second chemo treatment, leaving me at home with Bud, the black dog.\u00a0 I\u2019d never had a dog in my thirty-something life and I was actually a bit scared of him.\u00a0 Poor guy, he must have been pretty uneasy with me too!<\/p>\n<p>In the morning I had to leave him in the house to go to work in the city (San Francisco).\u00a0 Since Joe\u2019s dad was picking him up and bringing home about 8am, I thought Bud wouldn\u2019t be there alone long.\u00a0 Timing is NEVER as expected in the hospital though, and they were several hours late getting home. In the meantime, Bud had to pee. I\u2019d shut all the doors to the bedrooms and bathroom in the hallway wanting to keep him as corralled as possible. He tried to get in to each room by chewing all of the door jambs, as well as scratching at the French door to the backyard before finally relieving himself on the white carpet in the living room. Joe came home to his girlfriend-of-one-month\u2019s perfect white house with shredded door jambs and a big pee spot on the white rug.\u00a0 Oh\u2026 no.<\/p>\n<p>I guess I passed some kind of test when I didn\u2019t completely freak out when he called me at work to tell me. Oh, well. What were we to do? He\u2019s in the construction industry and got someone to repair the wood work and we had the carpet cleaned.\u00a0 I had <em>no idea<\/em> I should have made him go for a pee before leaving!<\/p>\n<p>About a year and a half after old Bud died, we got BJ (Buddy Junior). BJ and I were pals \u2013 we walked every day together and we played \u201cstair-ball\u201d- a game where he dropped the ball down the stairs and I threw it back up to him. He died suddenly in an accident when he was 5 and a half years old.\u00a0 I watched it happen.\u00a0 It was an awful experience.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t sleep for a couple of nights, for the flashes of memory that kept coming up.\u00a0 We missed our BJ-boy so much, it was a very difficult time. Was there ever going to be another dog who would play stair-ball?\u00a0 Was I ever going to love another dog like I did him? Joe asked me, what if I could love another dog even more?\u00a0 (Yes, he\u2019s a pretty amazing guy.)<\/p>\n<p>For anyone who doesn\u2019t know, Labs shed. They shed a lot. All the time.\u00a0 Fur goes everywhere. The furniture, our clothes \u2013 I find it in my food sometimes \u2013 and fur even sticks to the moist paint in my palette.\u00a0 I mean everywhere. If we don\u2019t sweep the hardwood floors for several days, dust bunnies of black dog hair form in the corners.\u00a0 Pretty serious shedding.<\/p>\n<p>There came a day after BJ died, a few weeks had passed, when I swept the hardwood floors and there was no dog hair. \u00a0I was <em>not<\/em> relieved for the lack of mess. My grief welled up anew. No dog hair meant no BJ.<\/p>\n<p>Our dogs bring such great energy to our house and to our marriage.\u00a0 They are family \u2013 so easy to love. As Valerie, a student of mine, puts it, there is a special chamber in our hearts for our love of them. But it\u2019s still easy to get annoyed by the fur, the mess, the inconvenience.<\/p>\n<p>We now have Bo (short for BoJangles). We got him four months after BJ died, at seven weeks old (I first held him at 3 weeks). \u00a0He\u2019s now 4 and a half. \u00a0And I believe they share the same spirit \u2013 but that\u2019s another post.\u00a0 I can honestly say, that I have a completely transformed relationship with the dog hair that is all over our world. We have this pup, we have his fur.\u00a0 It\u2019s a great way to look at a lot of things: \u00a0a friend one day expressed her exasperation at her son\u2019s finger prints all over the refrigerator \u2013 I gently reminded her <em>she has a son!<\/em>\u00a0 Even though he never means to, my hubby tracks dirt in the house with his running shoes &#8211; <em>and I have an awesome husband<\/em>.\u00a0 Our big oak tree out front drops leaves all over our yard, 365 days a year.\u00a0 Yesterday Joe was bemoaning how he\u2019d just cleaned up the side patio and the wind covered it again with leaves. I said \u201cone day we won\u2019t live under this tree.\u201d \u00a0Joe said \u201cand when we don\u2019t, I will miss it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s another way of looking at this that helps my perfectionism take a step back.\u00a0 Who says that the one who is \u201cmessy\u201d is the one with the problem?\u00a0 What if the problem is mine, needing everything to be so neat <em>all the time<\/em>?<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m all about creating freedom \u2013 including for myself.\u00a0 I can help myself free from my perfectionism by reminding myself that what I love will always come with something that will challenge me.\u00a0 Everything in life is a mixed bag, as my God-mother Donna tells me.\u00a0 I want to be free to enjoy the blessing part of the mix.<\/p>\n<p>Right now, Bo-Doggy is lying flat on his side on his dog blanket on the bed with me as I write, occasionally taking a deep breath and letting it out with a sigh.\u00a0 Yes, there\u2019s dog fur on the blanket, <em>and<\/em> he\u2019s an enormous blessing in our lives.\u00a0 He\u2019s also great at playing stair-ball. Even better than when he was BJ.\u00a0 \u00a0In this moment, his presence feels pretty miraculous. I\u2019ll take that over a fur-free life any day.<\/p>\n<p>May the magic of believing in miracles bring you joy and delight too.\u00a0 I wish you a Merry Christmas, a Happy Channukah, a blessed Solstice or whatever you celebrate this time of year. \u00a0And a happy and healthy 2015.\u00a0 I am so very grateful for you in my life.<\/p>\n<p>Love,<\/p>\n<p>Cara<\/p>\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Listen to this post: &nbsp; Joe and I have had three black Labradors \u2013 all boys.\u00a0 Well the first one, Bud, was really Joe\u2019s dog. He was nine when Joe and I started dating &#8211; when I lived in a house that had white carpet and a white sofa.\u00a0 It was my girly-girl house.\u00a0 My [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2818","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-stories"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>December 23, 2014 - Blessed by Black Labs - Life in Full Color<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/december-23-2014-blessed-black-labs\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"December 23, 2014 - Blessed by Black Labs - Life in Full Color\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Listen to this post: &nbsp; Joe and I have had three black Labradors \u2013 all boys.\u00a0 Well the first one, Bud, was really Joe\u2019s dog. 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