{"id":3041,"date":"2015-03-24T13:22:32","date_gmt":"2015-03-24T20:22:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/?p=3041"},"modified":"2016-02-16T13:40:43","modified_gmt":"2016-02-16T21:40:43","slug":"march-24-2015-creativity-and-tension","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/my-art-and-process\/march-24-2015-creativity-and-tension\/","title":{"rendered":"March 24, 2015 &#8211; Creativity and Tension"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"fcbkbttn_buttons_block\" id=\"fcbkbttn_left\"><div class=\"fcbkbttn_button\">\n                            <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n                                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/plugins\/facebook-button-plugin\/images\/standard-facebook-ico.png\" alt=\"Fb-Button\" \/>\n                            <\/a>\n                        <\/div><div class=\"fcbkbttn_like \"><fb:like href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/my-art-and-process\/march-24-2015-creativity-and-tension\/\" action=\"like\" colorscheme=\"light\" layout=\"standard\"  width=\"225px\" size=\"small\"><\/fb:like><\/div><\/div><p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/sweet-peas-tulips-adj.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-3043 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/sweet-peas-tulips-adj-e1455658833967.jpg\" alt=\"sweet peas-tulips adj\" width=\"500\" height=\"341\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/sweet-peas-tulips-adj-e1455658833967.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/sweet-peas-tulips-adj-e1455658833967-300x205.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/a>Listen to this post:<\/p>\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-3041-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/20150324-Post.m4a?_=1\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/20150324-Post.m4a\">http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/20150324-Post.m4a<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>The first time I ever painted was in June of 1992.\u00a0 My mom and I took a Saturday class &#8211; painting flowers in watercolor.\u00a0 I painted a somewhat awkward blue iris &#8211; and I fell in love &#8211; with the playing with the colors and the texture of watercolor paper.\u00a0 I\u2019d been bitten by the bug!\u00a0 Over the next few months, on my own, I painted several small paintings of flowers without backgrounds. Two of them are above. \u00a0I observed, drew and painted from live flowers sitting in front of me.\u00a0 And then I hardly painted at all for seven or eight years.\u00a0 A lot happened in my life in those years:\u00a0 divorce, job change, living in Paris, buying a house of my own back home in Marin, \u00a0meeting my Joseph, his cancer, moving again, getting married.\u00a0 In 2000, when I found myself working for a company a 2-hour drive away, I arranged it so I could work from home three days a week. This gave me some extra time and I picked up painting again.\u00a0 I began working from photographs and painted my first \u201cfuzzy background.\u201d \u00a0But I would still not paint for sometimes months and months.\u00a0 I started a piece and then hit a phase in it when I just hated what was happening, felt stuck and I\u2019d put it away and not pick it up again for a long time.<\/p>\n<p>In the spring of 2005, I did a seven-day silent meditation retreat at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.spiritrock.org\/calendarDetails?EventID=3881\">Spirit Rock<\/a> in Woodacre, right near where I grew up.\u00a0 The format of the retreat was such that, after a day to fully arrive inside ourselves and the retreat space, we had five hours a day to spend, on our own, with our creative practice.\u00a0 Five hours with myself and my watercolors \u2013 no one telling me what to do and no one to talk to, to distract myself.\u00a0 Heaven!\u00a0 I brought all my supplies and my unfinished work \u2013 one of our dog, Bud and another more loosely painted, of a vignette from Quarante, a village I\u2019d visited with my mom and dad in France ten years earlier.\u00a0 One sunny day, I sat outside in my straw hat, with a 12\u201dx16\u201d block of watercolor paper and painted, one quick painting after the other, with a 1\u201d flat brush entirely with my left (non-dominant) hand, letting whatever I wanted to paint come out, without a lot of thought.\u00a0 After that, back in the studio, the idea arrived to cut two of the paintings in strips and weave them together \u2013 one in soft greens of the surrounding hills and the other of a rough cross-section of a volcano erupting \u2013 all in reds, oranges and browns.\u00a0 The next thought came to combine two others \u2013 a heart and a fetus in utero \u2013 into a piece that was moving and healing.\u00a0 I wove the unrealized hope of being a mother into my emotional center for safe keeping.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/both-woven-ptgs.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-3044 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/both-woven-ptgs-e1455658735904.jpg\" alt=\"both woven ptgs\" width=\"600\" height=\"208\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/both-woven-ptgs-e1455658735904.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/both-woven-ptgs-e1455658735904-300x104.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>There was a large piece of cardboard \u2013 like from a refrigerator box or something \u2013 leaning up on the wall of the studio. Someone had carefully drawn what looked like a crack in a big hunk of stone vertically down the middle of the cardboard and then scrawled across it \u201cDon\u2019t be afraid to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.slate.com\/blogs\/browbeat\/2013\/10\/18\/_kill_your_darlings_writing_advice_what_writer_really_said_to_murder_your.html\">murder your little darlings<\/a>.\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0I was taken aback by the affront in this, <em>and<\/em> it gave me permission to dive in and just <em>ruin<\/em> the painting of Bud the Dog \u2013 which is just what I needed to get over my paralysis and actually finish it.\u00a0 I did the same with the painting of the French village which we know now as \u201cBlue Door.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Brown-Bud-the-Dog-web.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-3045 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Brown-Bud-the-Dog-web-e1455658780105.jpg\" alt=\"Brown Bud the Dog web\" width=\"600\" height=\"301\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Brown-Bud-the-Dog-web-e1455658780105.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/Brown-Bud-the-Dog-web-e1455658780105-300x151.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>I look back on that retreat as a really fruitful time for my creative process.\u00a0 And &#8211; yet, I still wasn\u2019t painting much apart from it.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until my friend <a href=\"http:\/\/eleanorharveyart.com\/\">Eleanor<\/a>, a beautiful landscape artist, gathered a small group of us to participate in Marin Open Studios at our church.\u00a0 When she asked, I took a deep breath, \u201cthat means I have to <em>sell<\/em> my work, right?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 She kindly told me, <em>yes<\/em> that is the idea!\u00a0 Shortly after that, I realized that selling my work, letting my paintings go, was the sure way to have more come through me. There is a flow that I could step into that would enable the ideas and the energy for many more paintings to come through.\u00a0 What I could not have predicted is what having an audience, and even collectors would do to my capacity to stick with my work and paint more paintings! \u00a0\u00a0A desire to have at least one new painting for each show created a structure for the work in me to emerge through.\u00a0 My process is not very fast and I can\u2019t paint for hours and hours at a stretch, so I am not as prolific as some artists. \u00a0But since 2007, I\u2019ve painted 8-10 paintings a year \u2013 a whole lot more than the two or three in the previous five years!<\/p>\n<p>Leading watercolor groups has also provided fuel for my creative evolution.\u00a0 I\u2019m both exposed to what other artists are creating <em>and<\/em> need to stay on my creative edge so that I am in integrity with them as they navigate theirs.\u00a0 The idea to paint my latest painting with just three colors\/pigments came from Shannon in our Thursday group. She\u2019s studied with <a href=\"http:\/\/www.jeannievodden.com\/\">Jeannie Vodden<\/a> who uses just three colors in her work.\u00a0 Out of this experience, I see the color in color more than ever and have grown even more solid in knowing how to mix colors, given that I only have three to work from.\u00a0 I\u2019ve also learned the limitations of these three and why I\u2019m not giving up the other paints\/pigments I use!<\/p>\n<p>The phrase \u201ccreative tension\u201d has been rattling around in my head for the past week after having been given an exercise by my coach to answer four questions about myself and my work in 15 or fewer words.\u00a0 Restriction is good for creativity.\u00a0 Whether it\u2019s the restriction of sequestering myself from the distractions of my life in a retreat, or the restriction of time because of an upcoming show, or even limiting myself to just three colors.\u00a0 The old adage\u00a0\u201cnecessity is the mother of invention\u201d relates to creative tension, but there\u2019s something more. \u00a0\u00a0It seems to me that creativity needs, or what <em>my<\/em> creativity needs, is both the structure and the space.\u00a0 Taken further, it occurs to me the structure <em>provides<\/em> the space for creativity to come through. The masculine provides for the feminine.<\/p>\n<p>I took my walk with Bo, <em>before<\/em> writing today and this bounced around in me.\u00a0 What came to me in the end &#8211; in the ultimate, is that spiritual existence is unbounded <em>and<\/em> we live physical, time-bound, space-bound lives.\u00a0 \u00a0What if this manifest world, with all its restrictions, even its pain and suffering are part of the design, absolutely necessary for the expression of spirit, and that this is what is evolving our consciousness?\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure if this idea is even fully baked in me, but it\u2019s where I\u2019m being led today. \u00a0<em>And<\/em> it\u2019s coming through because of the structure of writing to you every week.<\/p>\n<p>Last week\u2019s post about the value of work spawned quite a discussion among some of you.\u00a0 I heard <a href=\"http:\/\/www.understandmen.com\/\">Alison (Armstrong<\/a>) say something this week that seems related, which is <em>withholding accountability is emasculating<\/em>.\u00a0 This has me curious, sitting with the question \u201cwhy do we withhold accountability?\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019ll let this simmer another week before sitting to write about it \u2013 stay tuned. Until then, have a lovely week.<\/p>\n<p>Love,<\/p>\n<p>Cara<\/p>\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Listen to this post: The first time I ever painted was in June of 1992.\u00a0 My mom and I took a Saturday class &#8211; painting flowers in watercolor.\u00a0 I painted a somewhat awkward blue iris &#8211; and I fell in love &#8211; with the playing with the colors and the texture of watercolor paper.\u00a0 I\u2019d [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1,29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3041","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-my-art-and-process","category-life-stories"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>March 24, 2015 - Creativity and Tension - Life in Full Color<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/my-art-and-process\/march-24-2015-creativity-and-tension\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"March 24, 2015 - Creativity and Tension - Life in Full Color\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Listen to this post: The first time I ever painted was in June of 1992.\u00a0 My mom and I took a Saturday class &#8211; painting flowers in watercolor.\u00a0 I painted a somewhat awkward blue iris &#8211; and I fell in love &#8211; with the playing with the colors and the texture of watercolor paper.\u00a0 I\u2019d [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/my-art-and-process\/march-24-2015-creativity-and-tension\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Life in Full Color\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-03-24T20:22:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-02-16T21:40:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/sweet-peas-tulips-adj-e1455658833967.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Cara\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Cara\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/my-art-and-process\/march-24-2015-creativity-and-tension\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/my-art-and-process\/march-24-2015-creativity-and-tension\/\",\"name\":\"March 24, 2015 - Creativity and Tension - Life in Full Color\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/my-art-and-process\/march-24-2015-creativity-and-tension\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/my-art-and-process\/march-24-2015-creativity-and-tension\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/sweet-peas-tulips-adj-e1455658833967.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2015-03-24T20:22:32+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-02-16T21:40:43+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/#\/schema\/person\/d797aedc34742442251ceb8fef7ff393\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/my-art-and-process\/march-24-2015-creativity-and-tension\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/my-art-and-process\/march-24-2015-creativity-and-tension\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/my-art-and-process\/march-24-2015-creativity-and-tension\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/sweet-peas-tulips-adj-e1455658833967.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/sweet-peas-tulips-adj-e1455658833967.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/my-art-and-process\/march-24-2015-creativity-and-tension\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"March 24, 2015 &#8211; 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