{"id":3129,"date":"2015-04-21T10:28:17","date_gmt":"2015-04-21T17:28:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/?p=3129"},"modified":"2016-02-16T13:18:05","modified_gmt":"2016-02-16T21:18:05","slug":"april-21-2015-digging-for-treasure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/april-21-2015-digging-for-treasure\/","title":{"rendered":"April 21, 2015 &#8211; Digging for treasure"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"fcbkbttn_buttons_block\" id=\"fcbkbttn_left\"><div class=\"fcbkbttn_button\">\n                            <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n                                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/plugins\/facebook-button-plugin\/images\/standard-facebook-ico.png\" alt=\"Fb-Button\" \/>\n                            <\/a>\n                        <\/div><div class=\"fcbkbttn_like \"><fb:like href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/april-21-2015-digging-for-treasure\/\" action=\"like\" colorscheme=\"light\" layout=\"standard\"  width=\"225px\" size=\"small\"><\/fb:like><\/div><\/div><p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/postcards-in-the-recycle.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-3130 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/postcards-in-the-recycle-e1455657464382.jpg\" alt=\"postcards in the recycle\" width=\"600\" height=\"418\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/postcards-in-the-recycle-e1455657464382.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/postcards-in-the-recycle-e1455657464382-300x209.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Listen to this post:<\/p>\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-3129-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/20150421-Post.m4a?_=1\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/20150421-Post.m4a\">http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/20150421-Post.m4a<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>In the past week I\u2019ve been clearing out.\u00a0 Yesterday I went through the drawers at my husband\u2019s contracting office of \u201cmy\u201d files that were stored there.\u00a0 I went through all the colored (!) folders and tossed two drawers-full of paper I\u2019ll never need or use again.\u00a0 This was after last Wednesday, when I went through every shelf and drawer in my office\/studio here at home.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been hearing repeatedly how beneficial it is to de-clutter \u2013 not just for the aesthetic and practical reasons, but also for making space for whatever new life is awaiting me. \u00a0\u00a0And the result has been exhilarating. \u00a0Standing here typing on my laptop, I can see in my peripheral vision, empty spaces on the desk and in the bay window that were covered with \u201cstuff\u201d a week ago. \u00a0It\u2019s like a crisp breeze blew through here, taking away all that wasn\u2019t anchored down by my need for it or my love of it.\u00a0 Ahhh.<\/p>\n<p>Some things were hard to toss.\u00a0 I\u2019d been collecting all of the return address stickers that came with requests for donations from charitable organizations \u2013 for <em>years<\/em>.\u00a0 It irked me that I could never possibly use all these \u201cgifted\u201d stickers and they are not recyclable because they have a coated paper backing. The burden I felt in them, gave me the idea to do some kind of statement-collage-art with them.\u00a0 They all have some kind of color to them after all! \u00a0The stack filled a file folder top to bottom, an inch thick, at least, and it\u2019s now in the trash headed for the landfill :-(.\u00a0 I told myself I can\u2019t save the planet all on my own. The good news is, I\u2019ve gotten off all of their lists and we don\u2019t get them nearly as often anymore!<\/p>\n<p>Then there were stacks and stacks of old postcards from past events with my art on them. I\u2019d ordered more than were mailed out or given out at shows.\u00a0 I tossed them into the paper recycle bin and with a tinge of sadness, I watched all these colorful images of my work cascading down \u2013 yes, I can be a bit sappy. \u00a0\u00a0<em>And<\/em> I\u2019m appreciating another kind of beauty &#8211; the empty space on the shelf where they were! \u00a0I just ordered half the amount, so they won\u2019t stack up in the future.<\/p>\n<p>I went through photos, cards, magazine and newspaper articles I\u2019d saved. There were documents I\u2019d saved from my years in the tech world, much of which I realized I don\u2019t even understand anymore.\u00a0 Out it went!\u00a0 In the end I filled up our entire paper recycle bin at home and a good half of the huge one at the office.\u00a0 The back of my car has stuff for the Good Will &#8211; and I did have to grit my teeth and put some stuff in the trash to be landfilled.\u00a0 But, oh, what a difference!\u00a0 This detritus that collects and fills the spaces around us carries weight.\u00a0 For me it has made an actual <em>physical<\/em> difference to be free of it.<\/p>\n<p>Years and years ago, I read Sarah Ban Breathnach\u2019s books \u00a0<em>Simple Abundance<\/em> and <em>Something More<\/em>.\u00a0 In one of them she talks about being an archaeologist, excavating for clues in your own life.\u00a0 This is also what this clearing out has been.\u00a0 I came across \u201cartifacts\u201d from my life-so-far that have me reflecting and appreciating where I\u2019ve traveled.\u00a0 I found the calendar where I\u2019d penciled in my first date with Joe.\u00a0 Yesterday I ran across the Polaroid photo the fertility center took of our 4-celled embryo \u2013 the one that was implanted in me and didn\u2019t take.\u00a0 And there was the tab from that wonderful evening at a restaurant called Othello in Rome that Joe and I talk about <em>all<\/em> the time.\u00a0 Who knew that a simple meal of spaghetti with tomato, basil and garlic could be that remarkable? \u00a0\u00a0But it <em>was!<\/em> \u00a0I saw my evolution as I went through my artwork going <em>all<\/em> the way back. There were menus, recipes, shopping lists and to-do lists from the retreats I\u2019d catered \u2013 and files of notes from the various personal growth programs I was either a participant in or that I\u2019d been part of creating and leading.<\/p>\n<p>This \u201cprimary material\u201d of our lives is quite compelling.\u00a0 But, for me the most captivating was finding something I\u2019d written in my own hand.\u00a0 These bits of writing are views into my former selves.\u00a0 And they are priceless &#8211; especially so because of one really great regret. \u00a0Several years ago, a feng shui person recommended I &#8211; ceremonially &#8211; burn all my old Artist Way Morning Pages journals, as they were filled with negative emotion from the time before, during and after my divorce.\u00a0 And if I were to do this before the upcoming Sausalito Art Festival, I\u2019d have a more prosperous show.\u00a0 In pre-festival mode, I hardly found time for ceremony! \u00a0Since we only have a gas fireplace, I went to my parents\u2019 and ripped chunks of pages off and shoved them in the side of their wood burning stove, giving my right arm a \u201csunburn\u201d from the heat. \u00a0I saved (thank God) a few key pages that happened to catch my eye when I was tearing through to get it all done!\u00a0 I\u2019m <em>so<\/em> sorry I took her advice. It\u2019s completely undo-able. This was my <em>life<\/em>, poured out into the page \u2013 including my time in <em>Paris!<\/em> \u00a0And from this vantage point, I have no idea if it resulted in my art selling well at that festival or not!\u00a0 So, now when I discover things I\u2019d written, especially if they are like journal entries, they are gemstones in the dirt.<\/p>\n<p>Reflecting on the writing I discovered this week, over and over, I see the strength of my \u201cwant-er\u201d muscle.\u00a0 I\u2019ve wanted so much, so deeply.\u00a0 I wanted peace with my body and food.\u00a0 I wanted to be free of my stage fright. I wanted to know my own loveliness. I wanted clothes that I felt good in. I wanted to feed people.\u00a0 I wanted to have my voice.\u00a0 I wanted my life to make a difference. \u00a0I wanted to help people live lives that mattered to them \u2013 starting with my own. \u00a0\u00a0I saw how this wanting has power.<\/p>\n<p>There are spiritual teachings that link desire with suffering. \u00a0Though I see the truth in this, I find it more useful \u2013 for my life \u2013 to actually <em>cultivate<\/em> my desires.\u00a0 Desire is fuel and, if what I desire is aligned with life, it is a cause for good and can be trusted.\u00a0 In the metamorphoses that my life has undergone in the past twenty years, the impetus for change has been in the twin forces of pain and desire. Pain is an inevitable facet of human life and some say is the prime force for transformation. \u00a0It certainly has been in my life.\u00a0 But with just pain alone, I\u2019d have been left despondent.<\/p>\n<p>One of the heroes in my life is <a href=\"Cj0KEQjw6tepBRDLqLnxouaY_pkBEiQAPIOiBjUDDhsTA4IxLdQ4BeUZ0MBqObZH9Bat3zNnIMBeyYAaAiAu8P8HAQ\">Father Richard Rohr<\/a>.\u00a0 He\u2019s a Catholic priest unlike any other.\u00a0 Earlier this year he was on <a href=\"http:\/\/www.oprah.com\/own-super-soul-sunday\/Oprah-and-Author-Richard-Rohr-The-Search-For-Our-True-Selfhttp:\/www.oprah.com\/own-super-soul-sunday\/Oprah-and-Author-Richard-Rohr-The-Search-For-Our-True-Self\">Oprah\u2019s Super Soul Sunday<\/a>.\u00a0 I heard him say \u201cpain must be transformed or it <em>will<\/em> be transmitted.\u201d\u00a0 How the world would be different if we all got this one!\u00a0 What I <em>want<\/em> has given me a way to hold the pain, allowing it to change me.\u00a0 This has kept me from transmitting the pain \u2013 or kept me from transmitting it as much as I would have!<\/p>\n<p>Digging out this past week has created fresh, clear space to work in &#8211; and I\u2019ve discovered\/re-discovered all kinds of treasures &#8211; reminding me of the richness of life and the path it takes us on.\u00a0 I heartily recommend it!<\/p>\n<p>Love,<\/p>\n<p>Cara<\/p>\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Listen to this post: In the past week I\u2019ve been clearing out.\u00a0 Yesterday I went through the drawers at my husband\u2019s contracting office of \u201cmy\u201d files that were stored there.\u00a0 I went through all the colored (!) folders and tossed two drawers-full of paper I\u2019ll never need or use again.\u00a0 This was after last Wednesday, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-stories"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.2 - 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