{"id":3205,"date":"2015-05-26T13:15:11","date_gmt":"2015-05-26T20:15:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/?p=3205"},"modified":"2016-02-16T13:03:36","modified_gmt":"2016-02-16T21:03:36","slug":"may-26-2015-caring-about-caring","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/may-26-2015-caring-about-caring\/","title":{"rendered":"May 26, 2015 &#8211; Caring about caring"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"fcbkbttn_buttons_block\" id=\"fcbkbttn_left\"><div class=\"fcbkbttn_button\">\n                            <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n                                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/plugins\/facebook-button-plugin\/images\/standard-facebook-ico.png\" alt=\"Fb-Button\" \/>\n                            <\/a>\n                        <\/div><div class=\"fcbkbttn_like \"><fb:like href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/may-26-2015-caring-about-caring\/\" action=\"like\" colorscheme=\"light\" layout=\"standard\"  width=\"225px\" size=\"small\"><\/fb:like><\/div><\/div><p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/Brown-Blossoming-Hope-web.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-3206\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/Brown-Blossoming-Hope-web-1024x813.jpg\" alt=\"Brown Blossoming Hope web\" width=\"600\" height=\"476\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/Brown-Blossoming-Hope-web-1024x813.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/Brown-Blossoming-Hope-web-300x238.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/Brown-Blossoming-Hope-web-600x476.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/Brown-Blossoming-Hope-web-200x159.jpg 200w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/Brown-Blossoming-Hope-web.jpg 1700w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><em>[I wrote this post while on an airplane to Kauai over the weekend. I\u2019m posting it from here, while listening to the Hawaiian birds and feeling the balmy air on my skin.\u00a0 I am taking a break from recording an audio version while on vacation.\u00a0 I\u2019ll resume when I\u2019m back.]<\/em><\/p>\n<p>On election night in November of 2008, while waiting for the outcome, I painted. I was finishing up a painting I ended up giving the name \u201cBlossoming Hope\u201d and listening to a conference call.\u00a0 Ali Brown, a business coach, was interviewing a woman named <a href=\"http:\/\/www.understandmen.com\/\">Alison Armstrong<\/a>. The talk was billed as:\u00a0 \u201cStop Trying to Be a Man in Your Business! The Power of Femininity in the Workplace.\u201d \u00a0I was hungry to understand &#8211; and (still am) seeking to fully grasp how I can be feminine \u2013 be<em> in<\/em> the feminine and still pursue my endeavors in the world.\u00a0 Since <em>building<\/em> and <em>growing<\/em> are inherently action-oriented &#8211; squarely in the masculine, being an entrepreneur in a way that is grounded in the eternal, the yet-to-be manifest, being receptive and expectant continues to be somewhat an elusive balance!\u00a0 After that, Ali Brown drifted away for me, but I\u2019m forever grateful I was in her world for a while, as it was she who led me to my beloved Alison.<\/p>\n<p>My relationship with myself, my husband, my work, with <em>so much<\/em> has transformed because of Alison and the distinctions she makes and shares with the world.\u00a0 Many of these distinctions have to do with the masculine and the feminine \u2013 a theme that seems to have captivated this lifetime of mine. But some of them are more universal, more generally wise and always spiritually sound.\u00a0 Somewhere along the way I heard her talk about <em>caring.<\/em> That caring is a <em>resource<\/em>. My idle thoughts the past few days have picked up on this idea.\u00a0 \u00a0What we care about: where we put our concern, our interest \u2013 our hearts &#8211; seems like something useful to explore.\u00a0\u00a0 It seems related to another idea I came up with myself years and years ago.\u00a0 It occurred to me that <em>how we pay attention<\/em> and <em>what we pay attention to<\/em> has an enormous impact on who we are.\u00a0 Think about it; if you watch for it, you can see it everywhere.<\/p>\n<p>My husband loves baseball.\u00a0 He reads &#8211; pays close attention &#8211; to the sporting green and follows along with lots and lots of games. His knowledge of players and their histories and performances is positively encyclopedic!\u00a0 The games are often on the TV or radio when I\u2019m around, and the sporting green is there for me to read too, but I don\u2019t.\u00a0 I don\u2019t pay the attention he pays.\u00a0 I don\u2019t <em>care<\/em> like he does. But I do care about his caring, so I pay <em>enough<\/em> attention to engage with him &#8211; and I <em>am<\/em> wearing SF Giants orange fuzzy socks as I type this! \u00a0It\u2019s the same with old movies, aviation information, the technicalities of how music is made \u2013 largely he is who he is because of what he puts his attention on. \u00a0People who pay attention to incidents of crime are more concerned about security; people who are interested in the very best food are more discerning in their tastes than someone who is just fueling their body. What we care about, we pay attention to and it shapes us.<\/p>\n<p>Looking through old photo albums when my college friend Randi was here last year, among the photos of all of us drinking huge margaritas in Tijuana and roller skating in Balboa Park in San Diego, were photos of <em>orchids<\/em>. I took photos of<em> flowers<\/em> when I was a <em>teenager!<\/em>\u00a0 I noticed them, I paid attention, I <em>cared<\/em> enough to stop and take pictures, even as I was studying computer science. Some of what we care about has always been there \u2013 which for me is flowers and color.\u00a0 And sometimes it develops over time.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/my-art-and-process\/may-19-2015-windows-to-the-soul\/\">Last week, I talked about how our vision changes<\/a>, it\u2019s not so much that our eyes alight upon the world differently (though I am still curious about this possibility) as much as it is our attention attuning more carefully than we had in the past.\u00a0 Part of this is intentional, especially at first, but then we do it unconsciously.\u00a0 The desire to paint has us learn to see, which then changes where we put our attention in the rest of lives as well.<\/p>\n<p>Caring also gives us capacities we wouldn\u2019t otherwise have.\u00a0 Doing something that challenges us takes something extra-ordinary from us in order to stick with it. Often, it\u2019s just easier to quit.\u00a0 The artists in my weekly groups who have been coming to paint, week after week, show an enormous amount of care to their work &#8211; in <em>how <\/em>they work.\u00a0 If the painting isn\u2019t right to them, it\u2019s not <em>right<\/em>. Somewhere inside them is an often elusive vision for what the painting is to be.\u00a0 When they ask for feedback from me, near or at the end, I often hear \u201cam I done?\u201d\u00a0 They have paid so much attention to the painting that they are often tired of it. And I see over and over again, even in the face of \u201cI\u2019m so sick of this painting\u201d the willingness to go back in and do one or two more things to make it really sing.\u00a0 Without that caring, the work does not see its full potential.<\/p>\n<p>Caring about our work, and paying attention as we do it, so that we can learn the skills to realize our visions in art, enables us to make work that pleases us and that we can be proud of (or <em>become<\/em> proud of \u2013 see my <a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/my-art-and-process\/april-28-2015-a-home-for-the-unwanted\/\">post about the unwanted within<\/a>). \u00a0And when our work is appreciated by others can fuel the caring in us to make more work.<\/p>\n<p>But caring is not a limitless resource.\u00a0 Caring takes energy, it\u2019s an investment of our selves.\u00a0 \u201cPaying\u201d our attention to one thing means we can\u2019t \u201cspend\u201d it on something else.\u00a0 We cannot possibly care and thus give our attention to all that would benefit from it.\u00a0 This is not a justification for burying our heads in the sand to the world\u2019s problems as much as it is a call to consciously choose how we do pay attention.\u00a0 And to know that our caring matters.\u00a0 What we care about, put our attention to, invest ourselves in is a reflection of us.<\/p>\n<p>I am constantly in the conversation with myself whether I do enough to make the world a better place.\u00a0 I care about the environment, I care about my relationships with Joe, my family and close friends.\u00a0 I care that beauty is valued in the world, I care that people feel safe and are free to express themselves.\u00a0 Looking at what I care about, I see that my life <em>is<\/em> a reflection of it.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how to know if this is \u201cenough.\u201d\u00a0 But for today it seems like it is.\u00a0 It\u2019s worth asking ourselves &#8211; where do you put your precious attention?\u00a0 What do <em>you<\/em> care about?<\/p>\n<p>Aloha,<\/p>\n<p>Cara<\/p>\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[I wrote this post while on an airplane to Kauai over the weekend. I\u2019m posting it from here, while listening to the Hawaiian birds and feeling the balmy air on my skin.\u00a0 I am taking a break from recording an audio version while on vacation.\u00a0 I\u2019ll resume when I\u2019m back.] On election night in November [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3205","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-stories"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>May 26, 2015 - Caring about caring - Life in Full Color<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/may-26-2015-caring-about-caring\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"May 26, 2015 - Caring about caring - Life in Full Color\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"[I wrote this post while on an airplane to Kauai over the weekend. 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