{"id":3298,"date":"2015-06-30T10:57:29","date_gmt":"2015-06-30T17:57:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/?p=3298"},"modified":"2015-06-30T13:26:04","modified_gmt":"2015-06-30T20:26:04","slug":"june-30-2015-the-space-for-grace","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/june-30-2015-the-space-for-grace\/","title":{"rendered":"June 30, 2015 – The Space for Grace"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n \n \"Fb-Button\"\n <\/a>\n <\/div>
<\/fb:like><\/div><\/div>
\""Faith"<\/a>

“Faith” – Uncle Bill’s roses<\/p><\/div>\n

Listen to this post:<\/p>\nhttp:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/2015-05-30.m4a<\/a><\/audio>\n

I did the San Anselmo Art and Wine festival this past weekend. It\u2019s where I showed my work for the first time at a street festival in 2007 \u2013 this is my ninth year running. On Sunday morning, I was walking down Magnolia Avenue to my booth to get it all set up again for the day. My body felt so tired and my mind was telling me that I really need to consider whether doing these shows is still worthwhile. Many years ago, this particular festival was a really nice one. It was filled with all kinds of really nice art. As have many street fairs, the economics are such that the majority of the vendors are not fine artists \u2013 in fact many are not even crafts people. I\u2019ve had dreams of it returning to its glory, so I\u2019ve been sticking it out. Saturday I had sold some mugs and cards, but only two small prints all day. Walking along I was asking myself if it is still worth it. I even called my dad on my cell phone asking him to remind me of how hard this is on me when I think about doing another show.<\/p>\n

Then I heard somebody call my name. It was a friend of Joe\u2019s. We call him \u201cUncle Bill.\u201d He\u2019s a big bear of a guy \u2013 a contractor who is does just beautiful woodwork \u2013 and he\u2019s a big love. He lives on Magnolia – I\u2019ve painted one of his roses, the painting I call \u201cFaith.\u201d As we stood there on either side of the beautiful new wooden gate he made, he told me about someone he golfs with – a man named Gordon who is in his 90\u2019s. Gordon told Bill that he actually<\/em> pinches himself every morning when he wakes up – to check to see if he\u2019s still here<\/em>. He reminds Bill that every day on this<\/em> side of the grass is a gift. Ok, that\u2019s my reframe. I get<\/em> to go share my art with the people who come to the festival today.<\/p>\n

Minutes later, I started taking down the side-walls of the canopy \u2013 forty feet of eight foot high plastic tarps that zip together to close up the booth overnight. I was standing on my stool (I forgot to pack the step-ladder!) as I\u2019m shaking out the crumples, attempting to gather it all to fold it up, when a woman walks by, very nicely dressed, lovely in black and white, a hat, heels and pearls. With a smile and an offer to help, she picked up the other end of the tarp, immediately intuiting how I wanted it folded. Instead of my fumbling around by myself, her help made it quick and easy. What a Godsend! I asked if I could offer her some notecards or a mug in appreciation. She said, \u201chow about a hug?\u201d Wow. Such graciousness and it wasn\u2019t even 9:30 in the morning!<\/p>\n

A few hours later a couple came in, they were looking at all sizes of the prints of August Bounty as they talked about walls and spaces. They seemed happy discussing between just the two of them, so I let them be. Then he handed me a credit card and said they\u2019d like that one. I asked what size \u2013 they said no, the original painting. OMG! It\u2019s still surreal to me when this happens. I hope I never get over the excitement of someone giving a home to these pieces that I spend all these hours on, putting so much of myself into. After we agreed I\u2019d take it to them after the show, they left. A while later they came back by and he said to me that he feels like he just gained a new child \u2013 huge smiles. So happy! Ok, so by now I have a completely new perspective on whether or not these festivals are \u201cworth it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Brown<\/a><\/p>\n

Saturday evening \u2013 the night before all of this – at my mom\u2019s recommendation, I watched President Obama\u2019s moving eulogy<\/a> at the service of Rev. Clementa Pinckney \u2013 the pastor at the church in Charleston who was gunned down. He spoke powerfully and with great heart of \u201cgrace.\u201d I heard our president actually speak these words: we don\u2019t deserve grace, there\u2019s nothing we can do to earn it<\/em> \u2013 we are all sinners<\/em>. Not what I\u2019d expect to hear from the leader of our country. This is potent and evolved wisdom that\u2019s not easy for many to hear much less take in. I hear the same message from one of my spiritual heroes, Father Richard Rohr<\/a>. We are all deserving and<\/em> undeserving. Deserving by virtue that we are all an expression of the divine \u2013 every single<\/em> one of us. And undeserving because it\u2019s not a meritocracy. There\u2019s no need to do good deeds to be eligible for grace. Grace is even bestowed upon those who appear completely undeserving<\/em> – as the families of the shooting victims demonstrated in their refusing to hate their loved-one\u2019s suspected killer \u2013 instead, in their unspeakable grief, offering him their forgiveness<\/em>. I was just stunned by this.<\/p>\n

People who are very close to me are in recovery groups \u2013 12-step programs. Through them I hear of others who struggle, who have a really hard time staying clean and sober. I think about this often. How is it that some people hit bottom, end up in recovery, work the program and experience real transformation? One day at a time, they seem to never look back. And others want<\/em> to, but still struggle to get and stay sober? It\u2019s not willpower. It seems to me this is where grace comes in. Grace allows the spiritual shift in perspective that enables us to pick ourselves up from within our darkness and seek the light. It\u2019s grace that helps us change our minds and hearts and see our connection to everything, it\u2019s grace that opens a crack in our defenses \u2013 which keep us safe, but also keep us isolated.<\/p>\n

\"The<\/a>

The painting I call “Grace”<\/p><\/div>\n

Talking with Uncle Bill, being rescued in my chore of folding up the tarps and having August Bounty find its home were all tiny acts of grace in my life. Not exactly life-changing \u2013 like forgiving heinous acts of violence or someone taking the steps toward sobriety or my finding the courage to leave my first marriage, but it is this-moment-of-life-changing<\/em> in a complete shift in my perspective on a Sunday morning. Grace is delivered through those around us – and church can happen anywhere.<\/p>\n

But it seems that there\u2019s no need for grace without the lack of it, without suffering \u2013 without addiction, without harboring hatred, even without just a grumpy mood. This is one of these deals of incarnation. It comes with the territory of living a human life. We will suffer – in small ways I can suffer daily! I find myself stuck in the point-of-view of my small self. Grace will come to my rescue as long as I let it. As long as I am willing to open a space, surrender my small-self from being \u201cin charge\u201d and allow it to seep in, soften me and expand my heart and thus my perspective. It\u2019s my experience that grace can become a habit. Now that I\u2019ve experienced it enough, the shift from stuck to grace can happen more easily. And I\u2019m so grateful for everyone in my life \u2013 including you reading this \u2013 and your<\/em> deliveries of grace to me. Thank you.<\/p>\n

Love,<\/p>\n

Cara<\/p>\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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