{"id":3366,"date":"2015-08-11T20:31:51","date_gmt":"2015-08-12T03:31:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/?p=3366"},"modified":"2015-11-07T11:02:56","modified_gmt":"2015-11-07T19:02:56","slug":"august-11-2015-learning-to-receive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/august-11-2015-learning-to-receive\/","title":{"rendered":"August 11, 2015 – Learning to Receive"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n \n \"Fb-Button\"\n <\/a>\n <\/div>
<\/fb:like><\/div><\/div>
\"Resting<\/a>

Resting on the surface<\/p><\/div>\n

Listen to this post:<\/p>\nhttp:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/20150811-Post.m4a<\/a><\/audio>\n

Memory is a funny thing. There are random moments from my life that seem hardly \u201cmemorable\u201d, that I will never forget. Like the day so many years ago \u2013 I was laying on my belly on the living room carpet, at my dearest friend Brenda\u2019s house. It was before their son Quincy was born, so it must have been more than 20 years ago. There I was with my lower legs kicked up and crossed behind me, propped up on my elbows, reading a book she had by Helen Palmer, on the Enneagram \u2013 a system of personality types. In the beginning of the book, there was a section that had a series of one or two sentence descriptions of each of the nine types. Reading through them, I saw myself, clear as can be. I am a Type Two \u2013 the Giver, the Helper. Many people I\u2019ve talked about the Enneagram with, have been puzzled as to their type, but not I. The description of the Type Two may have well been written in neon letters, it stood out so obviously<\/em> to me as me.<\/p>\n

If you aren\u2019t familiar with the Enneagram, and what it means to be a Type Two, we are oriented around being helpful to those in our lives. We have a strong need to be needed. We know we are loved, by tending to the needs of other people, and having them tell us how wonderful we are because of it! We are compelled<\/em> to give. As with all types, there are dark and light aspects. On the one hand, we are really good at tuning in to others and can express great compassion. And then we can be insufferable martyrs, blaming others because our needs are not tended to. Discovering in that moment, and learning over the years since about my Enneagram type, has allowed me to not only understand how it is I operate \u2013 the dark and light \u2013 but it has been key in my evolution and becoming more free<\/em> from my compulsions.<\/p>\n

What it\u2019s pointing me to now, is how much I have to learn about receiving. Receiving is hard for most of us, I\u2019d venture to say. To really receive means to allow what is being given to enter us, to touch us, which means we need to be open, and thus be vulnerable. We are much more comfortable to be the giver. Think about it, to really let in a genuine compliment can be awkward. It\u2019s much easier to deflect, to explain, to attribute what\u2019s being appreciated to someone else, than to let it in, to move us, and simply offer back a genuine \u201cthank you.\u201d Maybe it\u2019s center-of-the-universe-ness that has me say this, but it seems that receiving is harder for Type Twos – whose personalities are formed around being helpful and giving<\/em> to others. Then again, maybe making the comparison isn\u2019t relevant \u2013 let\u2019s just say receiving is a challenge!<\/em><\/p>\n

\"A<\/a>

A morning walk in the garden<\/p><\/div>\n

For me, in this moment, receiving is \u201cup.\u201d My recent trip to Santa Fe to share what I know about painting, ended up being an amazing opportunity, to expand my capacity to receive. I went expecting to be the giver \u2013 to teach, to coach, to support, to encourage. We did do a little bit of art together, but not nearly as much as I\u2019d expected, which left me feeling like I wasn\u2019t \u201cearning my keep.\u201d And<\/em> what I encountered, was the most gracious generosity I\u2019d ever been offered. I was cared for exquisitely: I stayed in a gorgeous home surrounded by an Eden of a garden, I ate delicious meals, we walked through fabulous art galleries and went to the movies a couple of times. She even arranged for me to have an hour and a half massage! It seemed like every other phrase out of my mouth was \u201cthank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"The<\/a>

The lovely space we painted in<\/p><\/div>\n

I got on the plane after our four days together, so far out of my comfort zone. I felt this odd combination of immense gratitude and discomfort, for having been so generously given to, in a way that felt out of balance to me \u2013 I\u2019d expected to have provided much more in return. I discovered how vulnerable it feels to really<\/em> receive. I didn\u2019t rationalize or explain \u2013 even to myself. I just received<\/em> all that she gave to me. In the moment, it felt like I did nothing to deserve<\/em> it \u2013 like the grace I wrote about a few weeks ago. But in order to fully honor her generosity, I needed to let it impact me \u2013 to allow all that was given to me, to wash away the armor of \u201cno, no, let me<\/em> give to you<\/em>\u201d \u2013 which is so how I am wired – and graciously accept her gifts. I\u2019m finding it hard to articulate exactly my experience. I can\u2019t really find the words, but there was a humility that it required, even a \u201cdemure-ment.\u201d<\/p>\n

PAX teaches women in the \u201cQueen workshop\u201d, that receiving is one of the feminine forms of power. I know this is my edge, as I have a hard time \u2013 still \u2013 really getting how receiving is a form of power<\/em>. I get it in my head as an idea, but to feel it in my body is whole other thing. I know I\u2019m on track, though. In my experience, this is how transformation happens. I can understand intellectually first, and then later it lands more deeply.<\/p>\n

What I am also seeing, is the possibility that there are qualities in us \u2013 in me<\/em> even \u2013 that inspire others to give to us. The giver is admiring something that is being expressed \u2013 qualities like beauty, radiance, light, hope, faith, vision, wisdom. The response to being in the presence of these qualities, is generosity. Here it is again \u2013 the masculine being inspired by and providing for the feminine.<\/p>\n

I wrote at the end of 2014, that this thing called \u201cLife in Full Color\u201d is going to take much more than me, to emerge more fully into the world this year. Though it has a life of its own, there is a part of me that sees it as \u201cmy baby\u201d \u2013 which means that in order to have others contribute to its evolution, it will take my capacity to receive<\/em> their contribution. I\u2019m starting to see this happening, and it\u2019s remarkable to find myself in this place. This expanding my capacity to receive, is perfectly<\/em> timed.<\/p>\n

And what just<\/em> occurred to me as I write this, is that this means I need to have Life in Full Color matter<\/em> enough to be contributed to – which brings me right back to the matter of my<\/em> mattering – which is exactly what I understand to be the \u201ctheme\u201d of this life I\u2019m living! It is simple – a one-point program – life is set up for me to learn this one<\/em> thing.<\/p>\n

What I also get is the difference it makes to the giver to be received, as I am by you who read what I write each week. And when I sometimes hear how what I\u2019ve written touches and moves you, I am then invited to receive your appreciation in return. It\u2019s a beautiful circle of receiving and giving.<\/p>\n

With my love and gratitude,<\/p>\n

Cara<\/p>\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Listen to this post: Memory is a funny thing. There are random moments from my life that seem hardly \u201cmemorable\u201d, that I will never forget. Like the day so many years ago \u2013 I was laying on my belly on the living room carpet, at my dearest friend Brenda\u2019s house. It was before their son […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3366","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-stories"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nAugust 11, 2015 - Learning to Receive - Life in Full Color<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/august-11-2015-learning-to-receive\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"August 11, 2015 - Learning to Receive - Life in Full Color\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Listen to this post: Memory is a funny thing. 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