{"id":3538,"date":"2015-10-27T11:58:50","date_gmt":"2015-10-27T18:58:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/?p=3538"},"modified":"2015-10-27T14:24:24","modified_gmt":"2015-10-27T21:24:24","slug":"october-27-2015-im-still-his-little-girl","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/october-27-2015-im-still-his-little-girl\/","title":{"rendered":"October 27, 2015 &#8211; I&#8217;m still his little girl"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"fcbkbttn_buttons_block\" id=\"fcbkbttn_left\"><div class=\"fcbkbttn_button\">\n                            <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n                                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/plugins\/facebook-button-plugin\/images\/standard-facebook-ico.png\" alt=\"Fb-Button\" \/>\n                            <\/a>\n                        <\/div><div class=\"fcbkbttn_like \"><fb:like href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/october-27-2015-im-still-his-little-girl\/\" action=\"like\" colorscheme=\"light\" layout=\"standard\"  width=\"225px\" size=\"small\"><\/fb:like><\/div><\/div><div id=\"attachment_3534\" style=\"width: 534px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/dad-and-me-beach.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3534\" class=\"wp-image-3534\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/dad-and-me-beach.jpg\" alt=\"dad and me beach\" width=\"524\" height=\"348\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/dad-and-me-beach.jpg 942w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/dad-and-me-beach-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/dad-and-me-beach-600x399.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/dad-and-me-beach-200x133.jpg 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 524px) 100vw, 524px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-3534\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">I can &#8220;see&#8221; his love in how his hands are touching me.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Listen to this post:<\/p>\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-3538-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/20151027-Post.m4a?_=1\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/20151027-Post.m4a\">http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/20151027-Post.m4a<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>Last week my parents came for dinner on my mom\u2019s birthday. My dad had not heard or read my post \u2013 my birthday ode to her, so I played the recording for us all to hear. After it played, I had the feeling that the teeter-totter had been left with someone hanging up in the air \u2013 it needed to be balanced out. Life is a mixed bag &#8211; we all have challenges and blessings in our lives. On the blessings side of my life, are the two people I was born to. I <em>scored<\/em> in the parents department &#8211; and today I want to tell you all about my dad, my Papa.<\/p>\n<p>When I talk about my dad, I say that he is gifted with teaching, with preparing food, with growing things and taking care of his kids. He\u2019s also a storehouse of knowledge, especially about the natural world. He has planted an enormous, organic vegetable garden every summer of my life. He\u2019s the cook in our family (Mama is the baker), and it is from him that I got my obsession with learning and knowing \u2013 when we don\u2019t know we <em>must<\/em> look it up. Google was invented for my dad \u2013 and me!<\/p>\n<p>He was born James Joseph Brown to working class parents: Joe and Marge (Margaret) Brown. My grandma was an identical twin, and she and her sister Helen were pregnant with boys at the same time. She told me they were a <em>sight<\/em> walking down the streets of San Francisco together, identical faces and big bellies! He and his cousin Curt were born 6 weeks apart, and each were only children \u2013 it was the depression and people weren\u2019t having a lot of kids. When I was once preparing a talk about my history with food and cooking, I asked my dad how a city kid got so interested in growing food, and he told me this story: \u201cFrom my Uncle Dick in Fresno, I was probably 7 years old, I can\u2019t remember if I was staying with him or with my grandparents, and visiting his house nearby. He and I prepared a little plot of land in his backyard and planted some radish seeds. They germinated and started growing and I then had to go back home to San Francisco. A few weeks later, I got a package in the mail. My uncle had harvested the radishes and sent them to me.\u201d His voice had a catch of emotion, as he remembered his uncle and receiving those radishes.<\/p>\n<p>My dad is a renaissance man. He was a Marine during the Korean War, but also was and is interested in everything \u2013 food and cooking, but also classical music and opera. He is an artist \u2013 he did some oil paintings and later became a ceramics artist and teacher. He took two bare plots of land \u2013 around the two houses my family has lived in &#8211; and built beautiful landscapes \u2013 of stone and wood and exposed aggregate. He worked the soil and then planted trees and shrubs, fruit orchards and of course the vegetable gardens. He loves to read \u2013 especially stories. I remember him reading aloud short stories like \u201cThe Cask of Amantillado\u201d at the dinner table after we finished eating.<\/p>\n<p>My memories of my dad when I was a younger child, include him with a carpenter\u2019s pencil behind his ear as he built decks and fences around our house, going to the ceramics classroom with him on the weekends and getting to play with the clay, having \u201cDr. Brown\u201d patch up stubbed toes and skinned knees (it wasn\u2019t Mama who tended to our boo-boo\u2019s!). But most of my memories are with him in the kitchen. Mama went to work when I was in junior high and Dad took over the cooking. He was a high school teacher then. So after school each day, he went grocery shopping and when he got home, he and I made dinner <em>every night<\/em> &#8211; until I went away to college. I distinctly remember him teaching me how to cut up a chicken, how to dice an onion, and how to mince with a chef\u2019s knife. It became second nature for the two of us to cook together. Mama tells me that I\u2019d correct her \u2013 when she was doing something differently than Dad did, I\u2019d say \u201cDad doesn\u2019t do it that way\u2026\u201d These days he doesn\u2019t have as much energy and sometimes he\u2019ll ask <em>me<\/em> what he can do to help &#8211; when I cook for our family out at their house. He trained me well and all those meals we prepared together made me a skilled, confident and creative cook &#8211; one of the things that I\u2019m most grateful for in my life.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_3535\" style=\"width: 535px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/dad-and-me-kitchen.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3535\" class=\"wp-image-3535\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/dad-and-me-kitchen.jpg\" alt=\"Dad's trimming artichokes, I'm horsing around!\" width=\"525\" height=\"407\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/dad-and-me-kitchen.jpg 1000w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/dad-and-me-kitchen-300x232.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/dad-and-me-kitchen-600x464.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/dad-and-me-kitchen-200x155.jpg 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 525px) 100vw, 525px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-3535\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Dad&#8217;s trimming artichokes, I&#8217;m horsing around!<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Several years ago we had the idea for the two of us to write a cookbook together. We thought we\u2019d call it \u201cSunday Night at the Browns\u201d \u2013 a menu cookbook of the recipes from our family\u2019s Sunday dinners. Along the way, we\u2019d record a year in the vegetable garden, to capture all the wisdom and experience in Dad\u2019s head &#8211; and have it include <em>our<\/em> artwork. We started it long enough ago that I said that it\u2019d be great to finish it by the time he was 80 and I was 50. We\u2019ve passed those two marks by 4 years. The other \u201cprojects\u201d I\u2019m involved in have pulled me away. But lately it has been really nagging at me that we\u2019ve let it go. We have an outline and a list of recipes. I know that getting it going again mostly lies in my lap, as I\u2019m the writer between us. So, I\u2019m telling <em>you<\/em> all about it, in hopes that making it public, I\u2019ll carve out the time to make it a reality. It would be such a testament to the bond we share.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s another very tender way in which I\u2019m connected to my Papa. As the only girl in the family, it followed that I was Daddy\u2019s girl. He used to sing to me \u201cSoliloquy\u201d from the musical \u201cCarousel.\u201d \u201cMy little girl, pink and white, as peaches and cream is she\u2026\u201d And \u201cCara Mia My\u201d by Jay and the Americans. I was embarrassed by the attention and used to brush him off. I realize now how sweet it was that he sang to me and I feel sorry \u2013 for both of us &#8211; that I wasn\u2019t able to just bask in his love. Not that long ago, I was having some energy-body work, which tapped into my feeling the old fears of being such a sick baby. In the middle of this I had a not-quite-memory, but more a felt-sense of my soft little toddler body, being held by my dad\u2019s young, strong masculine body. I felt his solidness, the safety of being held close to him. When I shared this with him, he told me that it <em>actually<\/em> happened. He told me he\u2019d put on music and pick me up and dance around the room with me \u2013 his little girl.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_3536\" style=\"width: 535px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/dad-and-me-france.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3536\" class=\"wp-image-3536\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/dad-and-me-france.jpg\" alt=\"A snuggle with my Papa while on vacation in France in 1995 with he and Mama.\" width=\"525\" height=\"315\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/dad-and-me-france.jpg 1000w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/dad-and-me-france-300x180.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/dad-and-me-france-600x359.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/dad-and-me-france-200x120.jpg 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 525px) 100vw, 525px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-3536\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">A snuggle with my Papa while on vacation in France in 1995 with he and Mama.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>That solid and safe love is there in every hug, hello or goodbye. Even when we say goodbye on the phone &#8211; his love is in the timbre of his voice. If Mama is the energy \u2013 the sun &#8211; in our family, my Papa is the center of gravity \u2013 the earth, life-generating, healing, understanding, steadfast. He\u2019s had some health challenges the past few years, which have had me start to worry about how much longer we\u2019re going to have him here. He told my hubby a few days ago that he needed to talk to me \u2013 to tell me that it\u2019s not yet time to worry \u2013 that he\u2019ll tell me when it is. Ok, Papa, I\u2019m not worrying. So let\u2019s get cooking on that cookbook!<\/p>\n<p>Because, I love you so much!<\/p>\n<p>Cari (my family name)<\/p>\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Listen to this post: Last week my parents came for dinner on my mom\u2019s birthday. My dad had not heard or read my post \u2013 my birthday ode to her, so I played the recording for us all to hear. After it played, I had the feeling that the teeter-totter had been left with someone [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3538","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-stories"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>October 27, 2015 - I&#039;m still his little girl - Life in Full Color<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/october-27-2015-im-still-his-little-girl\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"October 27, 2015 - I&#039;m still his little girl - Life in Full Color\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Listen to this post: Last week my parents came for dinner on my mom\u2019s birthday. 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