{"id":3863,"date":"2016-02-16T11:05:07","date_gmt":"2016-02-16T19:05:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/?p=3863"},"modified":"2016-02-16T11:29:50","modified_gmt":"2016-02-16T19:29:50","slug":"february-16-2016-taking-a-breath-of-self-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/february-16-2016-taking-a-breath-of-self-love\/","title":{"rendered":"February 16, 2016 &#8211; Taking a breath of self-love"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"fcbkbttn_buttons_block\" id=\"fcbkbttn_left\"><div class=\"fcbkbttn_button\">\n                            <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n                                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/plugins\/facebook-button-plugin\/images\/standard-facebook-ico.png\" alt=\"Fb-Button\" \/>\n                            <\/a>\n                        <\/div><div class=\"fcbkbttn_like \"><fb:like href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/february-16-2016-taking-a-breath-of-self-love\/\" action=\"like\" colorscheme=\"light\" layout=\"standard\"  width=\"225px\" size=\"small\"><\/fb:like><\/div><\/div><div id=\"attachment_3861\" style=\"width: 599px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-3861\" class=\"wp-image-3861 \" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/hydra-WIP-2-16-16.jpg\" alt=\"The candy hearts done, I'm back on a painting I started for the Saturday class on painting water in November. And I\u2019ve got plenty of this self-criticism going on. With some parts of paintings it\u2019s noisier inside than others. For me, it\u2019s organic textures like the fountain. I\u2019m happy to report that when I step back, the fountain looks great to me!\" width=\"589\" height=\"449\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/hydra-WIP-2-16-16.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/hydra-WIP-2-16-16-300x229.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/hydra-WIP-2-16-16-200x152.jpg 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 589px) 100vw, 589px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-3861\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">The candy hearts done, I&#8217;m back on a painting I started for the Saturday class on painting water in November. And I\u2019ve got plenty of this self-criticism going on. With some parts of paintings it\u2019s noisier inside than others. For me, it\u2019s organic textures like the fountain. I\u2019m happy to report that when I step back, the fountain looks great to me!<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Listen to this post:<\/p>\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-3863-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/20160216-Post.m4a?_=1\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/20160216-Post.m4a\">http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/20160216-Post.m4a<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>After reading Elizabeth Gilbert\u2019s book \u201cBig Magic\u201d recently, I began following her somewhat frequent Facebook posts. Last Wednesday, she wrote a long <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/GilbertLiz\/posts\/963184480430334:0\" target=\"_blank\">post<\/a> on her worry about the extent to which, we are hard on ourselves \u2013 she asked if we can love all the parts of us we <em>hate<\/em>. Hate is a strong word, but I can understand the wisdom in using it. If she were to understate our self-criticism, she\u2019d be leaving out, those of us in the deepest pain. The rawness and realness of her post compelled me to share it on my own personal page &#8211; inviting you all to join me, in a self-love movement.<\/p>\n<p>The next morning I woke with a fire burning inside. I felt the various threads, of what has been coming through me lately to write on Tuesdays, weaving together. I realized I needed to actually <em>preach<\/em>, in my three watercolor groups. So, I did just that with each of them \u2013 and now I am again here with you &#8211; the rest of you who \u201clisten\u201d to me.<\/p>\n<p>In EG\u2019s post, she recounted a meeting between the meditation teacher and author Sharon Salzberg, and the Dalai Lama. When Sharon asked him what he thought of self-hatred, he had no idea what she was talking about. It seems that bashing ourselves is a Western phenomenon. This triggered something in me about the left and right brain \u2013 and what I\u2019m gleaning from, \u201cThe Master and His Emissary.\u201d Iain McGilchrist is also worried about our Western culture-run world, because of the dominance of the left brain. It makes sense to me that when we habitually operate more from our left brains, with their lack of context, fixation and tendency to manipulation &#8211; without the wider view of our right brains that are connection-oriented and relational to balance us out, we are at the mercy (or lack thereof, more accurately) of our inner-critical voices.<\/p>\n<p>Iain McGilchrist gave me another incredible piece to the puzzle, that I\u2019ve not yet written about, which weaves in here too. In an interview I listened to, he said that matter \u2013 physical matter &#8211; is a <em>state<\/em> of consciousness. Like the forms H2O takes \u2013 steam, water and ice, our consciousness has a non-physical form, which then can become physical \u2013 and in doing so, we create our world. I was <em>blown away<\/em> by this. Of course! Every physical thing \u2013 at least those that we create &#8211; starts as an idea before we make it into form. I\u2019ve said that the consciousness of the artist is in her or his work, but this takes it a bit further, our artwork is our consciousness \u2013 in <em>physical<\/em> form. Ok, so then when we are picking apart our work, as we are creating it, it\u2019s the same thing as picking ourselves apart.<\/p>\n<p>Iain McGilchrist says that the dominance of the left-brain has been increasing over time, worrying him about our future. If what we need is to operate more from our right-brains, minding our thoughts as we paint, is one way we can do our part to turn the tide. In my \u201csermons\u201d last week, what I asked of the artists in my groups is this: every time we notice the voice that says, <em>this doesn\u2019t look right<\/em>, <em>I can\u2019t do this<\/em>, <em>what a mess this is<\/em>, <em>I\u2019m ruining this painting<\/em>, to stop and take a deep, soft belly breath. I invite us to bring our attention out of our heads, and remember we are in a body that breathes. We are alive and here. I have no idea where this came from. I have no idea if this indeed, brings us into our right-brains, but our breath always happens in <em>this<\/em> moment and brings peace and calm \u2013 so it can never hurt. And then I want us to remind ourselves, that there is no reason to think, that we could or even <em>should<\/em> be painting any differently than we do in this moment \u2013 with our experience to date, the extent to which we\u2019ve practiced, our own personal sensibilities and tendencies \u2013 we paint as we paint in this moment &#8211; and that is just fine \u2013 it has its own kind of perfection, even.<\/p>\n<p>Since I fervently shared this with my groups last week, I\u2019ve been painting myself (every day, haven\u2019t missed one so far), and I see that the tricky part is actually <em>noticing<\/em> the voice. We are so used to living with these voices, that it seems normal to have them yammering and hammering along. This draws in the thread of the importance of <em>awareness<\/em> and <em>attention<\/em> &#8211; the subject of another recent post. It takes practice to grow our awareness, to have the capacity to interrupt the autopilot to bring in the breath &#8211; and the reminder that we are ok. I\u2019m hearing over and over lately, that meditation helps this. (<a href=\"http:\/\/www.huffingtonpost.com\/entry\/types-of-meditation-that-dont-require-sitting-still_us_56b8f454e4b04f9b57daa841\" target=\"_blank\">Here<\/a> are 5 forms that don\u2019t require standing still.) It expands our pre-frontal cortex \u2013 the part of our brains that makes conscious choices.<\/p>\n<p>But also so does showing up \u2013 for ourselves and for each other. I see it in every single group meeting on Thursdays and Fridays \u2013 all the appreciation that is shared from one artist to another, for the work they are doing. We are each other\u2019s reminders, of the perfection of this moment and the art being created in it. Our paintings are a result of a whole bunch of these moments. With awareness \u2013 self-generated or when reminded by another &#8211; we have an opportunity to re-focus our attention \u2013 away from fixating on the part\/parts of our paintings (or ourselves) that we find fault with, to the expanded view of the whole painting and our whole selves. What we attend to creates our reality \u2013 attending to the goodness of this moment brings that goodness &#8211; appreciation &#8211; love &#8211; into our lives.<\/p>\n<p>For a few weeks, I\u2019ve been finding myself being edgy and short with a few people who are closest to me, including my husband and my dear friend. I have been feeling really terrible about it, and was beating up on myself for it. In my coaching group it was pointed out to me, that I might be being edgy and short with <em>myself<\/em>. This was an enormous gift of awareness which had me realize, I needed to be patient and gentle with myself, extra patient and gentle, actually. Whatever we do to ourselves, has a ripple effect. When I can bring to myself the gaze of accepting love \u2013 for all my parts, even and especially those I\u2019m picking apart, I can bring that gaze to all the parts of everyone in my life, that I want to pick apart too. I believe with all of me, that loving ourselves is the most important thing we can do to change the world. Bringing our light to darkness wherever we encounter it, is the whole enchilada. We all have the light of God in us \u2013 the light of love. It\u2019s hard to remember this, but when we do, it shines brighter.<\/p>\n<p>With all my love,<\/p>\n<p>Cara<\/p>\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Listen to this post: After reading Elizabeth Gilbert\u2019s book \u201cBig Magic\u201d recently, I began following her somewhat frequent Facebook posts. Last Wednesday, she wrote a long post on her worry about the extent to which, we are hard on ourselves \u2013 she asked if we can love all the parts of us we hate. Hate [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3863","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-stories"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>February 16, 2016 - Taking a breath of self-love - Life in Full Color<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/february-16-2016-taking-a-breath-of-self-love\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"February 16, 2016 - Taking a breath of self-love - Life in Full Color\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Listen to this post: After reading Elizabeth Gilbert\u2019s book \u201cBig Magic\u201d recently, I began following her somewhat frequent Facebook posts. 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