{"id":4250,"date":"2016-03-22T13:53:33","date_gmt":"2016-03-22T20:53:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/?p=4250"},"modified":"2016-03-22T13:55:30","modified_gmt":"2016-03-22T20:55:30","slug":"march-22-2016-easter-saturday","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/march-22-2016-easter-saturday\/","title":{"rendered":"March 22, 2016 &#8211; Easter Saturday"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"fcbkbttn_buttons_block\" id=\"fcbkbttn_left\"><div class=\"fcbkbttn_button\">\n                            <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n                                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/plugins\/facebook-button-plugin\/images\/standard-facebook-ico.png\" alt=\"Fb-Button\" \/>\n                            <\/a>\n                        <\/div><div class=\"fcbkbttn_like \"><fb:like href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/march-22-2016-easter-saturday\/\" action=\"like\" colorscheme=\"light\" layout=\"standard\"  width=\"225px\" size=\"small\"><\/fb:like><\/div><\/div><p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-4252 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/together-600-1.jpg\" alt=\"together 600\" width=\"590\" height=\"440\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/together-600-1.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/together-600-1-300x224.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/together-600-1-200x149.jpg 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 590px) 100vw, 590px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Listen to this post:<\/p>\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-4250-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/20160322-Post.m4a?_=1\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/20160322-Post.m4a\">http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/20160322-Post.m4a<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>In the past several weeks a very close, long-standing friendship took a painful turn and in the past few days, has very possibly ended. We\u2019ve been friends for more than 25 years and have been through so much together. It\u2019s hard for me to really grasp that six weeks ago everything was seemingly ok, and now we are not in each other\u2019s lives. At the same time, it is clear to me that the spirit is moving through all of it. There was something that needed to arise, to be known and made conscious. This something has brought me to a new place inside myself \u2013 almost the next \u201cversion\u201d of me. This shift could not have been stopped or prevented. It had to happen.<em> And<\/em>, my heart is heavy and full as I grieve what once was between us.<\/p>\n<p>We don\u2019t choose to experience grief &#8211; it\u2019s never fun or easy. There\u2019s little energy, certainly no fire for new endeavors. When I\u2019m grieving, I feel raw and it\u2019s hard to have light conversations with people \u2013 especially those who don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on. In times like this, I watch others who are interacting with each other normally as if they are in another dimension, one that I\u2019m not a part of. But there\u2019s also something precious about it \u2013 there\u2019s an opportunity to care for ourselves exquisitely. I learned this after we lost our dog BJ to an awful accident, and I was in acute grief. Because of this I was called to be really, really tender with myself, in a way that I otherwise wouldn\u2019t. And in that, it occurred to me that I was living through a time that had its own gifts. Grieving is a deeply feminine experience. We can\u2019t direct how it goes. It has its own pace, rhythm and duration. We just have to ride it through.<\/p>\n<p>It has occurred to me, that I\u2019m in an Easter Saturday\/Holy Saturday time. I was raised culturally Christian, but we didn\u2019t go to church or actively practice Christian traditions. My family\u2019s celebrations of Easter and Christmas were entirely secular. Later in life, I spent a decade or so as an active member of a very progressive Christian church, through which I\u2019ve become connected to the deep themes of this faith tradition \u2013 in ways that I can easily see threading through my own life. Since I\u2019ve become a seeker of this deeper understanding, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.contemplative.org\/cynthia-bourgeault\/\" target=\"_blank\">Rev. Cynthia Bourgeault<\/a> is one who has been provided me with illumination. She is a mystic and Episcopal priest, who writes and teaches about Christianity and especially about Mary Magdalene, in ways that are both completely inspiring and completely mind-blowing. She\u2019s pushing the edge of Christian understanding, and in doing so, gives me access to it that requires no translation, making the roots of this 2,000 year old tradition accessible and applicable to me in ways, that mainstream Christianity just doesn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>In a recording of hers I listened to a few years ago, she talked about where Jesus\u2019 spirit was on Saturday, the day after he died, and before he was resurrected. While all those who were close to him, who loved, surely were deeply grieving and in despair, he was, as the tradition calls it, in the Harrowing of Hades &#8211; or hell. The way Cynthia Bourgeault spoke of it, though, brought me to tears. She said <em>he was bringing the light &#8211; his light &#8211; to the souls living in the darkest place of existence<\/em>. This is the invitation we have when we are in grief, and when tending to those who are grieving &#8211; to simply shine the light of love into the dark. Offering myself tenderness when I\u2019m so sad is that light of love, shone on myself.<\/p>\n<p>Another teacher who makes Christianity accessible to me, is <a href=\"https:\/\/cac.org\/richard-rohr\/richard-rohr-ofm\/\" target=\"_blank\">Father Richard Rohr<\/a>. What he teaches is also both deeply rooted in the tradition and so <em>out there<\/em>, that it\u2019s hard to believe that he is a priest within the Catholic Church. (He and Cynthia Bourgeault are kindred spirits and teach together at times.) Sometime last year, Oprah had <a href=\"http:\/\/www.oprah.com\/own-super-soul-sunday\/Oprah-and-Author-Richard-Rohr-The-Search-For-Our-True-Self\" target=\"_blank\">Richard Rohr on her Super Soul Sunday<\/a> program. In their interview, he said something that stuck with me: if we don\u2019t transform our pain, it <em>will<\/em> be transmitted. It\u2019s certain. We will pass it on to others. Since loss is inevitable in our worldly lives \u2013 everything dies &#8211; we all experience grief. So, we <em>all<\/em> have Holy Saturday times \u2013 though they generally last much longer than a single day. In these times, we have the choice to operate out of our pain, thereby passing it on, or we can tend to it, thereby transforming it, which grows our capacities to hold others and become greater expressions of love.<\/p>\n<p>I have been graced to have been given the understanding, support and determination, even, to choose the latter path \u2013 at least with the biggest losses in my life. The ending of my first marriage and way of being in relationship, not having been able to have any children of my own and the sudden loss of our beloved pup, were all followed by periods of grief. After a Holy Saturday time, they were also all followed by resurrections. I am married to my Joseph and have a deeply committed partnership, that I don\u2019t believe would ever have been possible with my first husband. We have our sweet, smart \u201cAmbassador of Happiness,\u201d Bo-Doggy, who I am <em>certain<\/em> is the reincarnation of BJ. And I live a fulfilling life filled with making art and teaching and guiding others on their creative journeys \u2013 a life that I <em>know<\/em> I\u2019d not have if we were raising kids. This may seem sort of transactional, maybe even too pat. But it\u2019s my reality and I have to believe there is something to it.<\/p>\n<p>I have been, and will continue to do what I do, while I am sad over this friendship. Along with tending to my home and family, I\u2019m painting every day, writing every week and leading our painting groups \u2013 all of which are both tinged with what\u2019s been going on for me, and <em>are<\/em>, that light shining into my darkness. This painting (above) that I just finished, is connected to this friendship. You can read about it in my gallery. Painting it over the past three weeks has felt right, just as I painted BJ right after he died, which I wanted to do while I still remembered what it felt like to touch him. For the most part, my art is not intentionally expressive of my inner process. I mostly paint what appeals to me &#8211; what I think is beautiful enough to spend my time on. But sometimes it is, which makes having an active creative life, a blessing and a refuge. It\u2019s what I wish for us all, to have a place to take our grief and pain, to help transform it, so that what we transmit instead, is some form of beauty.<\/p>\n<p>To come all the way through our Holy Saturday times, it helps to have faith \u2013 that there is a re-birth \u2013 of some sort \u2013 at the end of it. For those of us for whom this is our tradition, this week is Holy Week. It\u2019s a walk through the cycle of death and rebirth \u2013 which takes place during the spring (rebirth) here in the northern half of our planet. This week feeds our faith that death isn\u2019t the end of the story. And, in order to fully arrive on Sunday, we must tend to our grief on Saturday. Whether you follow this tradition or not, and whether you are currently in a time of grief, celebration, or some place between, I wish for you to notice and be fed by the beauty that is always here.<\/p>\n<p>With my love,<\/p>\n<p>Cara<\/p>\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Listen to this post: In the past several weeks a very close, long-standing friendship took a painful turn and in the past few days, has very possibly ended. We\u2019ve been friends for more than 25 years and have been through so much together. It\u2019s hard for me to really grasp that six weeks ago everything [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4250","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-stories"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>March 22, 2016 - Easter Saturday - Life in Full Color<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/march-22-2016-easter-saturday\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"March 22, 2016 - Easter Saturday - Life in Full Color\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Listen to this post: In the past several weeks a very close, long-standing friendship took a painful turn and in the past few days, has very possibly ended. 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