{"id":4283,"date":"2016-03-29T13:50:21","date_gmt":"2016-03-29T20:50:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/?p=4283"},"modified":"2016-03-29T13:51:10","modified_gmt":"2016-03-29T20:51:10","slug":"march-29-2016-painting-redemption","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/march-29-2016-painting-redemption\/","title":{"rendered":"March 29, 2016 &#8211; Painting redemption"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"fcbkbttn_buttons_block\" id=\"fcbkbttn_left\"><div class=\"fcbkbttn_button\">\n                            <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n                                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/plugins\/facebook-button-plugin\/images\/standard-facebook-ico.png\" alt=\"Fb-Button\" \/>\n                            <\/a>\n                        <\/div><div class=\"fcbkbttn_like \"><fb:like href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/march-29-2016-painting-redemption\/\" action=\"like\" colorscheme=\"light\" layout=\"standard\"  width=\"225px\" size=\"small\"><\/fb:like><\/div><\/div><div id=\"attachment_4282\" style=\"width: 600px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-4282\" class=\"wp-image-4282 \" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/redemption-WIP-3-29-16.jpg\" alt=\"redemption WIP 3-29-16\" width=\"590\" height=\"422\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/redemption-WIP-3-29-16.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/redemption-WIP-3-29-16-300x215.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/redemption-WIP-3-29-16-200x143.jpg 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 590px) 100vw, 590px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-4282\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Moving on &#8211; my next painting underway, another rose &#8211; having fun with the detailed background.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Listen to this post:<\/p>\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-4283-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/20160329-Post.m4a?_=1\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/20160329-Post.m4a\">http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/20160329-Post.m4a<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>Most weeks, by the time Tuesday morning rolls around, I know what I\u2019m going to write about. Today isn\u2019t one of them. I\u2019m stuck today. I didn\u2019t sleep well \u2013 I woke at something like 3:30 and lay awake for a couple of hours. After getting back to sleep, I woke up about 7:15, really groggy. I was in a fog as I made my tea, pondering the possibilities. <em>What<\/em> am I going to write about today? Yikes! So, I took my hike with Bo <em>before<\/em> writing today in hopes that it might give me some clarity. One idea seemed to resonate. I started writing and after about 400 words, it felt flat and lifeless, and I had no idea where to take it. Ugh.<\/p>\n<p>I keep a file in my \u201cPosts\u201d folder called \u201cIdeas for Posts.\u201d So I just went to the file. The first sentence is this: \u201cI want for us to have the capacity for our own suffering.\u201d Oh, yay! Suffering! Now isn\u2019t <em>that<\/em> a cheery thing to write about? But it grabbed me. And it seems a fitting follow-on to last week\u2019s missive about grieving. Easter was two days ago, but it appears I\u2019m still in Lent. So, why would we want to have the capacity for our own suffering? Wouldn\u2019t we want to do all we can to be rid of it? We go to the doctor, the therapist, our loved ones, other professionals to seek healing, resolution \u2013 to be free from our pain \u2013 whatever form it takes. Yes, this is the natural thing to do, and I do all those things. I don\u2019t want to suffer any more than anyone else.<\/p>\n<p>But guess what? We will still suffer. It\u2019s part of the bargain. We get to taste a bright, ripe raspberry or sip and smell coffee in the morning, we get to listen to the birds chirping, we get to caress a dog&#8217;s soft ear, we get to see the color green on the springtime hills and the vivid blue-violet of the Dutch irises, that have just bloomed among the grass. We get to read and be inspired by the words of a poem or a moving story. And we get to love each other and experience others loving us. There is no light without darkness, so to get all these goodies, we must endure some suffering too.<\/p>\n<p>Since I\u2019ve started to notice when people have the capacity for their own suffering \u2013 and when they don\u2019t &#8211; it\u2019s become <em>really<\/em> obvious to me. I met someone a couple of years ago who is coming to mind. She had lived a very difficult life and was telling me all about it. As she was sharing her story: drug addiction, prison time, losing her children, I felt heavier and heavier. It wasn\u2019t that I couldn\u2019t handle what she was sharing; the heaviness I felt come from the place from which she was sharing it. It felt to me, that she had little capacity for her own suffering. There was no container for it, so it spilled out on to me. Although she was living a life free of all these conditions, she wasn\u2019t, at that point anyway, free from the darkness of it. There wasn\u2019t yet any triumph over it &#8211; no redemption.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve had many conversations with redeemed people, who have lived lives just as trouble-filled. These people, who have gained the capacity for their own suffering, have spirits that shine even more brightly, than those who\u2019ve never lived in the dark. I\u2019m finding it hard to articulate how this is, but what comes to me, is that redeemed people have fully digested their suffering. They\u2019ve gained perspective, and reaped the rewards of it &#8211; which I believe are always there. Even as suffering returns, (as it does over and over), they continue to have the capacity to hold it, to contain it. The sad thing is, is that I find it hard to have compassion for those who can\u2019t hold their suffering \u2013 I just feel repelled. It\u2019s as if there is an unconscious intent to drag me into their darkness. On the other hand, I feel drawn to those who are suffering with awareness and perspective \u2013 even if that perspective is that this is really, really hard and awful. With these people, I find an easy connection and the compassion just flows from me.<\/p>\n<p>So what does all this have to do with art and being creative? I speak on no authority besides my own \u2013 but my sense is that it has <em>everything<\/em> to do with our art and our creative lives. When I first learned to paint, I was still living the dark &#8211; married to an alcoholic and desperately lonely for real connection. I was able to paint only very sporadically, and what I painted had little energy in it. A couple of years later, I was working towards extricating myself from that life, and had no inclination to paint at all. The refuge that my creative life is now, which I spoke about last week, wasn\u2019t yet available to me. I was still doing life-triage and building capacity for my own darkness.<\/p>\n<p>But as my capacity has developed, to understand and have a place to hold my suffering, my art and creative life becomes a companion to it. I\u2019m not one to paint my process, as in, to paint my anger or my wild, disturbing dreams. I get there is great value in doing that, but what I\u2019m called to do, is to paint my redemption. My most recent painting \u201cTogether\u201d, is a reflection of a break in a long standing friendship. But even those that don\u2019t have that direct connection, they are a reflection of what I have the capacity to hold within me &#8211; as it is with all of us.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_4281\" style=\"width: 476px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-4281\" class=\"wp-image-4281 \" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/mourning-wins-painting.jpg\" alt=\"mourning -win's painting\" width=\"466\" height=\"312\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/mourning-wins-painting.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/mourning-wins-painting-300x201.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/mourning-wins-painting-200x134.jpg 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 466px) 100vw, 466px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-4281\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Win&#8217;s painting &#8211; she&#8217;s named it &#8220;Mourning.&#8221;<\/p><\/div>\n<p>I just thought of this recent painting by Win, one of the artists in our Thursday group. Win was there the very first day I led a painting group at the Fairfax Church, four and a half years ago. She has lost two people very close to her \u2013 her mother and her son. The anniversaries of their deaths are at the beginning of the year, which renews her grief in their loss. In February, she showed me the image that was the inspiration for this painting. She wanted to paint it but was uncertain about painting a <em>fading<\/em> rose. I encouraged her to \u2013 and the result is stunning. \u201cMourning\u201d, contains Win\u2019s love for her mother and son, and her grief in their not being here anymore. The same beauty in this painting shows up in <em>her<\/em> every Thursday, too. In our hello and goodbye hugs, I can feel her tender heart as well as her love and joy at being here, and sharing her life with us.<\/p>\n<p>I come back to my deep appreciation for having an active, integrated creative life \u2013 for the way we can reflect our humanness &#8211; our love and our suffering &#8211; in these creative works. I know that many people come to our groups for instruction, help with technique and color and all the tech support I provide, but what I see they are actually doing, what we are <em>actually<\/em> doing is painting our redemption. Whether we know it or not. There\u2019s hardly a better reason to learn to paint.<\/p>\n<p>With my love,<\/p>\n<p>Cara<\/p>\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Listen to this post: Most weeks, by the time Tuesday morning rolls around, I know what I\u2019m going to write about. Today isn\u2019t one of them. I\u2019m stuck today. I didn\u2019t sleep well \u2013 I woke at something like 3:30 and lay awake for a couple of hours. After getting back to sleep, I woke [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4283","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-stories"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>March 29, 2016 - Painting redemption - Life in Full Color<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/march-29-2016-painting-redemption\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"March 29, 2016 - Painting redemption - Life in Full Color\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Listen to this post: Most weeks, by the time Tuesday morning rolls around, I know what I\u2019m going to write about. 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After getting back to sleep, I woke [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/march-29-2016-painting-redemption\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Life in Full Color\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-03-29T20:50:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-03-29T20:51:10+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/redemption-WIP-3-29-16.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Cara\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Cara\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/march-29-2016-painting-redemption\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/march-29-2016-painting-redemption\/\",\"name\":\"March 29, 2016 - Painting redemption - Life in Full Color\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/march-29-2016-painting-redemption\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/march-29-2016-painting-redemption\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/redemption-WIP-3-29-16.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-03-29T20:50:21+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-03-29T20:51:10+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/#\/schema\/person\/d797aedc34742442251ceb8fef7ff393\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/march-29-2016-painting-redemption\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/march-29-2016-painting-redemption\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/march-29-2016-painting-redemption\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/redemption-WIP-3-29-16.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/redemption-WIP-3-29-16.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/march-29-2016-painting-redemption\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"March 29, 2016 &#8211; Painting redemption\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/\",\"name\":\"Life in Full Color\",\"description\":\"Watercolors by Cara Brown\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/#\/schema\/person\/d797aedc34742442251ceb8fef7ff393\",\"name\":\"Cara\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/c6f3732b38fdc958366cca34fe90f54746a926a829fe1f8d64ceebfb3ac46752?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/c6f3732b38fdc958366cca34fe90f54746a926a829fe1f8d64ceebfb3ac46752?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Cara\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/author\/cara\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"March 29, 2016 - Painting redemption - Life in Full Color","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/march-29-2016-painting-redemption\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"March 29, 2016 - Painting redemption - Life in Full Color","og_description":"Listen to this post: Most weeks, by the time Tuesday morning rolls around, I know what I\u2019m going to write about. 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