{"id":4468,"date":"2016-06-28T11:20:45","date_gmt":"2016-06-28T18:20:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/?p=4468"},"modified":"2016-06-28T11:20:45","modified_gmt":"2016-06-28T18:20:45","slug":"june-28-2016-destruction-creation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/june-28-2016-destruction-creation\/","title":{"rendered":"June 28, 2016 &#8211; Destruction before Creation"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"fcbkbttn_buttons_block\" id=\"fcbkbttn_left\"><div class=\"fcbkbttn_button\">\n                            <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n                                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/plugins\/facebook-button-plugin\/images\/standard-facebook-ico.png\" alt=\"Fb-Button\" \/>\n                            <\/a>\n                        <\/div><div class=\"fcbkbttn_like \"><fb:like href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/june-28-2016-destruction-creation\/\" action=\"like\" colorscheme=\"light\" layout=\"standard\"  width=\"225px\" size=\"small\"><\/fb:like><\/div><\/div><div id=\"attachment_4466\" style=\"width: 601px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-4466\" class=\"wp-image-4466\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/eggplant-and-wip-6-28-16.jpg\" alt=\"&quot;I finished the eggplant. I called it &quot;Global&quot;. During the festival I started a new one - of one big apple.&quot; \" width=\"591\" height=\"296\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/eggplant-and-wip-6-28-16.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/eggplant-and-wip-6-28-16-300x150.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/eggplant-and-wip-6-28-16-200x100.jpg 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 591px) 100vw, 591px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-4466\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">&#8220;I finished the eggplant. I called it &#8220;Global&#8221;. During the festival I started a new one &#8211; of one big apple.&#8221;<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Listen to this post:<\/p>\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-4468-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/20160528-Post.m4a?_=1\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/20160528-Post.m4a\">http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/20160528-Post.m4a<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>The week before last, I went to see my dear friend Julia and to meet her brand new son. Julia and I have a magical connection. Though there is a pretty big gap in our ages \u2013 I\u2019m much closer to her mother\u2019s age \u2013 we have a powerful bond that feels older than this lifetime. We met nine years ago, when I was just starting this odyssey of becoming a full-time artist \u2013 she worked at Light Rain and did the first reproductions of my paintings. When she told me that she was leaving her job to move to Paris to teach English to French school children, I told her how great that was for her &#8211; and then I asked if I could have her job! This began a connection that has involved being together in Paris and in New York, sharing the job at Light Rain, sharing the artist\u2019s journey and a passion for sorting out how partnership works between the masculine and the feminine. It\u2019s a very special friendship.<\/p>\n<p>During our visit, she offered me to choose from a deck of inspiration cards written by Danielle LaPorte, a teacher\/coach who offers white-hot truth in service of people living, no-kidding lives of their own creation. I love oracle cards and believe the cards we choose are not just happenstance, but have <em>real<\/em> messages for us. My card said \u201cDestruction before Creation.\u201d Really? This one? No perky platitude from Danielle LaPorte! But I really didn\u2019t want <em>that<\/em> card. I\u2019d rather have a \u201cnice\u201d card \u2013 not one that tells me to <em>destroy<\/em> \u2013 it sounds so violent. Julia said the card was mine to take with me. It\u2019s not an accident I forgot it when I left. And &#8211; even without the card in-hand, the message has not left me. I\u2019ve been asking myself: what needs to be destroyed?<\/p>\n<p>I hike with Bo most mornings up a fire road that takes off from the other side of our little neighborhood. It is on private property and the owner has been pursuing developing the land. Last week, he had a bulldozer up there clearing away a whole lot of poison oak, and invasive, non-native scotch broom from the fire roads. Some of my fellow hikers are having a hard time with it. The heavy equipment scraping away the brush, has made an immediate, drastic change. I get where they are coming from and I would think that I\u2019d be there too, but I\u2019m actually <em>loving<\/em> it. The road had originally been carved into the hill 40 or 50 years ago, so this isn\u2019t pristine un-touched nature &#8211; and it is now wide open again. It\u2019s as if all the cobwebs have been cleared away. We can now see the live oak trees and the views of the hills beyond. To me it\u2019s refreshing &#8211; even exciting. On yesterday\u2019s hike, as I was feeling the excitement, it occurred to me that this may be the energy that can come from destruction \u2013 the wisdom in that card.<\/p>\n<p>I did the San Anselmo Art and Wine festival this past weekend. Looking back to the post I wrote a year ago, the Tuesday after the same festival, I read that I was questioning whether I should still do this festival or not. Last year\u2019s Sunday brought sweet moments of grace, including someone falling in love with \u201cAugust Bounty\u201d and taking it home, which left me thinking it was still a good thing to show up again. But this year has been altogether different &#8211; starting with the producer giving me a crappy spot, and then being downright rude to me, when I inquired about being moved to where I\u2019d requested. I stood in the baking heat for two days, which wiped me out. On top of this, the caliber of the festival itself \u2013 so many booths of imported junk and hardly any other art &#8211; was depressing. For the first time in 10 years of doing this show, there was a lot of conversation amongst people about it. \u201cThey call it an \u2018art festival\u2019 &#8211; so, where is the actual art?\u201d It is now really a \u201cstreet fair\u201d and my work doesn\u2019t belong there anymore.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m guessing I\u2019m not alone in this, but I need a negative experience, to realize that I\u2019m done with something. This weekend was that for me. There have been years that I\u2019ve done as many as seven art festivals. This year it\u2019s just two. Next year the only thing on my radar will be the Sausalito Art Festival. But, this is how most of the people in my groups have found me, and most of those who have ended up with my art in their homes as well. So, if I don\u2019t show my paintings at all these shows, how will we find each other? I don\u2019t know. <em>And<\/em> I do know there will be a way.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes we just <em>know<\/em> things. After healing from the initial raw emotion of the ending of my first marriage, I don\u2019t know why, but I <em>knew<\/em> I\u2019d be married again. Because I knew that the kind of man I\u2019d end up with would be a guy\u2019s-guy, I made myself a \u201cgirl house\u201d with white carpet and white furniture &#8211; expecting that he would likely not feel at home with this feminine d\u00e9cor. I have this same knowing about my art, finding its way into the world.<\/p>\n<p>And in order to find this way, I see I have to stop putting energy into things that are no longer \u201cmine\u201d to do \u2013 such as outdoor art festivals like this one. I must <em>destroy<\/em> this part of what I do. There is a ton of energy \u2013 psychic and physical \u2013 that it takes to do these events. And what\u2019s next won\u2019t come through, if I\u2019m squandering my energy where it no longer serves me. The thing is, this artwork has been put in me for what feels like a purpose. I don\u2019t make these paintings for my own private enjoyment \u2013 these paintings are for people in the world who want and even <em>need<\/em> them. That purpose has a will, an energy, a drive, that will find a way.<\/p>\n<p>It feels strange that I won\u2019t be doing these events \u2013 there\u2019s a voice telling me I\u2019m slacking. What else will I do? Plus, it\u2019s hard &#8211; most of us are wired to preserve, not <em>destroy<\/em>. But nature has her own cycles of destruction \u2013 like wild fires. A century of suppressing nature\u2019s destructive fires, has created forests that are out of balance and when they do catch fire, the result is catastrophic.<\/p>\n<p>It is just occurring to me what to do \u2013 and I\u2019m not even sure what this means yet; but I need to create a haven, like I did with my little \u201cgirl house,\u201d for my art life \u2013 a way station, until the next thing that I will put my bigger energies into shows up. The sound of this brings me a sweet peace. I can lead my art groups, care for my body and paint my love. Then we\u2019ll see what arises in the space created.<\/p>\n<p>The best thing about this past weekend, was talking to people who came by about their beginning or returning to paint and how I might help them. A common theme, is having the desire to paint and not doing so, because other things get in the way. With this insight, when I hear this again, I\u2019ll offer the suggestion to see what might need to be destroyed first. There are seeds in the forest floor that need the heat of fire, in order for them to germinate. Plus, it&#8217;s a law of nature, when we make space, something comes in. But first, we <em>do<\/em> need to make space.<\/p>\n<p>It is high fire season here in the west and this is a tricky metaphor right now. But, maturing and becoming more conscious, allows us to work with powerful forces in skillful ways. Seems I\u2019m learning to embrace destruction. So, will you join me? We have our <em>love to paint<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>With my love,<\/p>\n<p>Cara<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Listen to this post: The week before last, I went to see my dear friend Julia and to meet her brand new son. Julia and I have a magical connection. Though there is a pretty big gap in our ages \u2013 I\u2019m much closer to her mother\u2019s age \u2013 we have a powerful bond that [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4468","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-stories"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>June 28, 2016 - Destruction before Creation - Life in Full Color<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/june-28-2016-destruction-creation\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"June 28, 2016 - Destruction before Creation - Life in Full Color\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Listen to this post: The week before last, I went to see my dear friend Julia and to meet her brand new son. 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