{"id":4474,"date":"2016-07-05T22:39:26","date_gmt":"2016-07-06T05:39:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/?p=4474"},"modified":"2016-07-05T22:39:26","modified_gmt":"2016-07-06T05:39:26","slug":"july-5-2016-choice-make","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/my-art-and-process\/july-5-2016-choice-make\/","title":{"rendered":"July 5, 2016 &#8211; The choice we DO have"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"fcbkbttn_buttons_block\" id=\"fcbkbttn_left\"><div class=\"fcbkbttn_button\">\n                            <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n                                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/plugins\/facebook-button-plugin\/images\/standard-facebook-ico.png\" alt=\"Fb-Button\" \/>\n                            <\/a>\n                        <\/div><div class=\"fcbkbttn_like \"><fb:like href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/my-art-and-process\/july-5-2016-choice-make\/\" action=\"like\" colorscheme=\"light\" layout=\"standard\"  width=\"225px\" size=\"small\"><\/fb:like><\/div><\/div><div id=\"attachment_4475\" style=\"width: 610px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-4475\" class=\"wp-image-4475 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/paintings-7-5-16.jpg\" alt=\"paintings 7-5-16\" width=\"600\" height=\"298\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/paintings-7-5-16.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/paintings-7-5-16-300x149.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/paintings-7-5-16-200x99.jpg 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-4475\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">The two paintings I&#8217;m working on. I&#8217;m loving having this rose to paint when I just want to play. The other is of an apple, I&#8217;m planning for the 2017 calendar.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Listen to this post:<\/p>\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-4474-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/20160705-Post.m4a?_=1\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/20160705-Post.m4a\">http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/07\/20160705-Post.m4a<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>This morning as Bo and I were taking off down our street to head up the hill, we ran into Ed \u2013 a neighbor \u2013 washing his fishing boat.\u00a0 I asked him if he\u2019d been out fishing.\u00a0 He said yes \u2013 and that it wasn\u2019t very good.\u00a0 The wind has been terrible, whipping up big waves that tossed him about, banging him against the console of the boat. He\u2019s come home with his arms aching from holding something heavy all day \u2013 and not much fish.\u00a0 He said he used to have bigger boats that would take it but it\u2019s not worth it anymore, things have changed.\u00a0 He said \u201cwhat can we do but go on?\u201d\u00a0 To which I said \u201cwe really do have no choice.\u201d\u00a0 He agreed, we wished each other a good day and Bo and I took off.\u00a0 This is how it is, isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 Life changes, we may complain and grouse &#8211; and we go on.\u00a0 Fighting reality is ultimately futile, we have to accept and adapt \u2013 some of us more readily than others.\u00a0 To the part about not having a choice though, I had another thought bubble up.\u00a0 There <em>is<\/em> something we can choose &#8211; our <em>attitude<\/em>.\u00a0 We absolutely have a choice as to how we show up, who we show up as, and how we frame reality in our minds.\u00a0 This is sounding very <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodreads.com\/work\/quotes\/3389674-trotzdem-ja-zum-leben-sagen-ein-psychologe-erlebt-das-konzentrationslag\">Viktor Frankl<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>And it brings me back to a conversation I had with my niece and her partner when they were here a month ago. They are in their early 20\u2019s and both identify as \u201cgender queer.\u201d\u00a0 Born female, they experience themselves as neither masculine nor feminine, but \u201cgender neutral\u201d \u2013 at least this is how I understand what \u201cqueer\u201d means.\u00a0 Until a couple of years ago Leigh was called Hannah \u2013 her first name.\u00a0 We watched her evolve from a little girl into a teenager who was exploring her own style with long dark hair, sometimes with a big blonde streak, strong eye makeup and very bold, black eyeglasses.\u00a0\u00a0 In her late teens she cut her hair very short, wore much less makeup and left skirts behind.\u00a0 Now she wears her hair very, <em>very<\/em> short, no longer colors it and wears clothes more closely associated with what we\u2019d think men would wear \u2013 and we now know her by Leigh &#8211; her middle name. \u00a0Leigh doesn\u2019t identify as a woman and I don\u2019t experience her as one.\u00a0 It is such a privilege to witness someone so close to me evolve or unfold, showing the world the truth of who they are.\u00a0 \u00a0She is so at home in and complete with this expression of her self \u2013 of her gender, or rather her lack of gender that my mind is caught by hearing and using words like \u201cshe,\u201d \u201cneice,\u201d \u201cdaughter\u201d and even her given name \u2013 Hannah &#8211; in reference to her.\u00a0 Leigh agreed &#8211; she doesn\u2019t find herself inside these terms either. \u00a0What an experience to be on the edge of human expression beyond the extent of our current language.\u00a0 \u00a0No doubt terms will evolve and one day be commonplace, and until they do, for convenience sake, I\u2019ll keep using the feminine pronouns.<\/p>\n<p>While they were here we were talking about how they didn\u2019t <em>choose<\/em> who to be, they just <em>were<\/em>. \u00a0\u00a0They didn\u2019t <em>choose<\/em> to love each other, they just <em>do<\/em>.\u00a0 These aren\u2019t things that we do in an eeny-meeny-miny-mo kind of way.\u00a0 I believe that who we love, and our own experience of our humanity are factory installed.\u00a0 Then Leigh added:\u00a0 but we <em>do<\/em> choose how we behave, the actions we take, what we say \u2013 we choose how we <em>are<\/em> with who we are and what we love.\u00a0 \u00a0Leigh could hide, she could resist, she could even reject herself as most LGBTQ people have for centuries \u2013 millennia \u2013 and many in the world still do.\u00a0 But it is in choosing to allow ourselves be who we are and love who and what we love that we change the world.\u00a0 We push out the edges of acceptance. \u00a0Those on the front lines do this with great courage and danger, even \u2013 and they still choose to do it.<\/p>\n<p>I have so much admiration for these two young people. Leigh and Lena are remarkable: smart, creative, funny, joy-filled, tuned in, purposeful. They care about our impact on the planet and are working to change it more than anyone else I know.\u00a0 My hope for our future is stoked by the fires that burn in their hearts, their brains, the light behind their eyes.\u00a0 And their commitment to each other is more complete &#8211; they have more fully surrendered to the good of their union than just about any other couple I know \u2013 most of whom are decades older.\u00a0 And, I\u2019d venture to say that if they didn\u2019t exercise their freedom to express themselves so genuinely, that some of their energy and passion for each other and the world would be trapped under the restraint.\u00a0 We are <em>all<\/em> better off because of their choosing to be who they are \u2013 and love who and what they love.<\/p>\n<p>These two are a bright, shiny example \u2013 in the most important way \u2013 of what I\u2019ve been sharing with you these past several weeks \u2013 how vital it is to live our love, be our love and paint our love.\u00a0 In a conversation with two of my coaching sisters last week, Maralyn, who works with people to have real, intimate, courageous, human relationships \u2013 said that this is how she \u201cpaints her love.\u201d\u00a0 For all of us doing our purposeful work \u2013 we are \u201cpainting our love.\u201d\u00a0 She has expanded for me what constitutes our \u201ccanvas\u201d (though we watercolorists generally paint on paper) and what it means to \u201cpaint.\u201d\u00a0 Painting our love is even more than art-making.\u00a0 But this not to trivialize painting!\u00a0 For many of us painting is closely aligned with who we are &#8211; we <em>must<\/em> paint.<\/p>\n<p>Today I hung eleven paintings in some offices at our local community college for the next two months.\u00a0 The curator who helped hang the art suggested that I paint some abstract paintings \u2013 \u201cto give gallery owners what they want.\u201d\u00a0 My immediate reaction was \u2013 I won\u2019t paint to give gallery owners what <em>they<\/em> want.\u00a0\u00a0 I paint paintings that people can \u2013 in their minds \u2013 fall into.\u00a0 My art asks of me to be about beauty, light and color &#8211; and emotion.\u00a0 I know that what I paint isn\u2019t what many who are finding great success paint, but I am choosing to be who I am, choosing love what I love, choosing to paint my love.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s in us, each of us \u2013 it\u2019s in you \u2013 who you are and what you love.\u00a0 By honoring who you are, choosing to act accordingly, you further the course of humanity.\u00a0 So what are you waiting for?\u00a0 I\u2019m here to support you.<\/p>\n<p>With my love,<\/p>\n<p>Cara<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Listen to this post: This morning as Bo and I were taking off down our street to head up the hill, we ran into Ed \u2013 a neighbor \u2013 washing his fishing boat.\u00a0 I asked him if he\u2019d been out fishing.\u00a0 He said yes \u2013 and that it wasn\u2019t very good.\u00a0 The wind has been [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4474","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-my-art-and-process"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.2 - 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