{"id":4787,"date":"2016-12-13T18:05:37","date_gmt":"2016-12-14T02:05:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/?p=4787"},"modified":"2016-12-13T19:57:31","modified_gmt":"2016-12-14T03:57:31","slug":"december-13-2016-watching-miracles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/december-13-2016-watching-miracles\/","title":{"rendered":"December 13, 2016 &#8211; Watching for miracles"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"fcbkbttn_buttons_block\" id=\"fcbkbttn_left\"><div class=\"fcbkbttn_button\">\n                            <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n                                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/plugins\/facebook-button-plugin\/images\/standard-facebook-ico.png\" alt=\"Fb-Button\" \/>\n                            <\/a>\n                        <\/div><div class=\"fcbkbttn_like \"><fb:like href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/december-13-2016-watching-miracles\/\" action=\"like\" colorscheme=\"light\" layout=\"standard\"  width=\"225px\" size=\"small\"><\/fb:like><\/div><\/div><div id=\"attachment_4789\" style=\"width: 601px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-4789\" class=\"wp-image-4789\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/xmas-hydra-wip-12-13-16.jpg\" alt=\"&quot;The background is in and I'm now ready to start on the scraggly leaves.&quot;\" width=\"591\" height=\"296\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/xmas-hydra-wip-12-13-16.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/xmas-hydra-wip-12-13-16-300x150.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/xmas-hydra-wip-12-13-16-200x100.jpg 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 591px) 100vw, 591px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-4789\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">&#8220;The background is in and I&#8217;m now ready to start on the scraggly leaves.&#8221;<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Listen to this post: recording coming soon&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>I woke up really early Sunday morning &#8211; something like 4am \u2013 with the thought \u2013 I have no idea where the tickets are &#8211; the tickets for tonight\u2019s Chanticleer Christmas concert with my husband\u2019s family. I\u2019ve been the one who has ordered them the past several years \u2013 but in fact Joe and I did it together in September. We got a ticket for Dad, with the tender hope that he\u2019d still be here to enjoy it \u2013 one of the highlights of the year for him. But, I didn\u2019t remember running across them since. Joe asked me the same question after we got up. I had to confess I had no idea. He said that he had given them to me, asking me to put them someplace safe \u2013 what did I do with them? I had absolutely no clue. What ensued was not at all in the spirit of Christmas: anxiety, upset, as we searched all the safe-keeping spots. Nothing.<\/p>\n<p>Everyone was looking forward to this &#8211; counting on there being tickets. We do this <em>every<\/em> year. We had dinner reservations. I was melting down inside. Menopause was blamed for the complete lack of memory. <em>What<\/em> could I have done with them??? I might have stashed them in the top drawer at his office. I jumped in the shower, grabbed everything (including my blow dryer and brush) for the Paint Our Prayers in Larkspur. With wet hair and no makeup, I headed out the door to go see. They weren\u2019t there either. And neither was there evidence <em>anywhere<\/em>, that we had actually purchased them \u2013 not in our ticket accounts online or credit card statements.<\/p>\n<p>Then the spirit of Christmas crept back in. There were seats available for the second show. We flip-flopped dinner and concert, and all was well. Plus we didn\u2019t have to get Dad a ticket \u2013 he\u2019d be there without needing one. Things settled down, apologies came. We recovered. When I picked up the tickets at Will Call before the concert, they checked for me to see, if we were on the list for the first show. We had indeed never actually bought the tickets. I didn\u2019t misplace them \u2013 they never existed. I\u2019m not losing my mind. He must have handed me the tickets to Madame Butterfly, the opera he took me to on my birthday, two weeks ago. But what has reverberated in me since, is how readily and how willing we <em>both<\/em> were, to assume that the missing tickets were my fault.<\/p>\n<p>I had a conversation with my mom about it yesterday, which expanded to what is going on in our world \u2013 with masculine and feminine \u2013 to a much bigger level, than a moment in a marriage. At the end of the conversation, I said something that felt important. I said, not only is there a need for there to be more feminine at play in our world, <em>and<\/em> for the masculine to value the feminine, but also, for the <em>feminine<\/em> to value the feminine. Those of us who embody and express beauty, compassion, empathy, cooperation, connection \u2013 who see from the eternal perspective \u2013 are called to live and operate, knowing how <em>vital<\/em> what we bring is. Why <em>would<\/em> we value the feminine though? It\u2019s the masculine that is in power, that sets the rules of the game, determines what\u2019s important. And since, as I\u2019ve learned from Alison Armstrong, it is feminine beings who are &#8211; for very good reason &#8211; more adaptable, we\u2019ve adapted ourselves to be more masculine \u2013 and we believe that doing so, makes us more valued.<\/p>\n<p>A quick note: In some ways, the language of masculine and feminine can be in the way \u2013 as it gets linked with male and female and that one is better than the other. We do need both. But, I use it, because it\u2019s shorthand for qualities and modes of being \u2013 which we all have capacities for.<\/p>\n<p>Last night, thanks to a Facebook post by my coach Lissa Boles that pointed me there, I dove into some of the recent articles, written by Charles Eisenstein. (<a href=\"http:\/\/charleseisenstein.net\/hategriefandanewstory\/\" target=\"_blank\">This one<\/a>, written two days after the election, is amongst the most helpful I\u2019ve read on the election aftermath, BTW). He\u2019s a deep and insightful thinker, writer and speaker. His take on what is going on in our world, is stunning to me in its brilliance and forward thinking. Though he\u2019s not using this language, he\u2019s absolutely talking about bringing in the feminine in our interactions. To give you an idea, one of his books is called, <em>The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know is Possible<\/em>. I ended my evening with him, by watching a TED talk, in which he talked about miracles. He said this: \u201cA miracle is not the intercession of an external divine agency in violation of the laws of nature. A miracle is something that is impossible from an old understanding of reality &#8211; and possible from a new one.\u201d We are in, he says, a period where our understanding of reality \u2013 of what is real &#8211; is radically changing.<\/p>\n<p>I see that it is the old understanding of reality, to engage with those we are in conflict with, from a place of anger or hatred \u2013 to lash out at them. At the end of the article I link to above, Charles Eisenstein says: \u201cInstead, we can engage them empowered by the inner mantra that my friend Pancho Ramos-Stierle uses in confrontations with his jailers: \u201cBrother, your soul is too beautiful to be doing this work.\u201d Since reading this last night, I\u2019ve been asking the question: what gives him the capacity and presence of mind, to speak from his heart to his jailers instead of lashing back? It must be some kind of inner capacity. It\u2019s my guess, that he must not feel harmed, must not be taking their actions personally, he must be holding himself differently than those who respond defensively.<\/p>\n<p>In this whole deal with the tickets, I did respond defensively and it wasn&#8217;t me at my best. And in a way, I\u2019m grateful for it &#8211; because want to be able to not be. I want to be able to allow those in my life, including those I love most, to be upset, even upset with me and not abandon myself as I did and then abandon <em>us<\/em> in how I communicate. \u00a0Somehow these things feel related. In that, it takes a new reality \u2013 for me to have and act from a new\u00a0understanding of who I am and <em>how I am of value &#8211; especially my feminine qualities<\/em>\u00a0\u2013 that allows the miracle of communication at this level to happen. Part of this is also not getting triggered as easily by someone else getting triggered. It&#8217;s an on-going endeavor. And one that I&#8217;m not giving up on.<\/p>\n<p>Looking out into my life and the world with <em>this<\/em> definition of what a miracle is, my guess is that they are everywhere. Every shift of awareness, everything we learn or discover, enables us to redefine what is real for us. Before ever putting a brush to paint to paper, the thought of being able to make paintings, is impossible. There is a piece of me that feels this impossibility, at the start of every new painting. Even with the detailed road-map of a photo for inspiration, I cannot know what the painting will ultimately be. This uncertainty is inherent in the process of creation. And each finished one, does have the feeling of miracle in it.<\/p>\n<p>It feels like we are living in a new world, as we come to the end of this year. There is so much fear, grief and anger at how things have unfolded. And so much darkness that has been given license. It seems to me, that this exactly where we\u2019ll find miracles though &#8211; there\u2019s no need for them when things are sunny and bright. I think of the story in the faith tradition, that is the closest to my heart \u2013 the birth we celebrate at this time of the year. In a reality where a poor couple unable to find shelter, bring their child into the world in a lowly manger, amongst the animals, and there is born a person \u2013 human and divine, just as we all are \u2013 who brings an understanding of another reality \u2013 one of beauty, compassion, empathy, cooperation and connection. We\u2019re still talking about bringing this reality in, 2,000 years later. There\u2019s no giving up hope in me. I\u2019m going to be on the look out for these miracles. You too?<\/p>\n<p>With my appreciation for the miracle you are to me \u2013 and with my love,<\/p>\n<p>Cara<\/p>\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Listen to this post: recording coming soon&#8230; I woke up really early Sunday morning &#8211; something like 4am \u2013 with the thought \u2013 I have no idea where the tickets are &#8211; the tickets for tonight\u2019s Chanticleer Christmas concert with my husband\u2019s family. I\u2019ve been the one who has ordered them the past several years [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4787","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-stories"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>December 13, 2016 - Watching for miracles - Life in Full Color<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/december-13-2016-watching-miracles\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"December 13, 2016 - Watching for miracles - Life in Full Color\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Listen to this post: recording coming soon&#8230; I woke up really early Sunday morning &#8211; something like 4am \u2013 with the thought \u2013 I have no idea where the tickets are &#8211; the tickets for tonight\u2019s Chanticleer Christmas concert with my husband\u2019s family. 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