{"id":4802,"date":"2016-12-20T14:54:41","date_gmt":"2016-12-20T22:54:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/?p=4802"},"modified":"2016-12-26T22:24:07","modified_gmt":"2016-12-27T06:24:07","slug":"december-20-2016-light-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/december-20-2016-light-christmas\/","title":{"rendered":"December 20, 2016 &#8211; The light of Christmas"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"fcbkbttn_buttons_block\" id=\"fcbkbttn_left\"><div class=\"fcbkbttn_button\">\n                            <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">\n                                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/plugins\/facebook-button-plugin\/images\/standard-facebook-ico.png\" alt=\"Fb-Button\" \/>\n                            <\/a>\n                        <\/div><div class=\"fcbkbttn_like \"><fb:like href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/december-20-2016-light-christmas\/\" action=\"like\" colorscheme=\"light\" layout=\"standard\"  width=\"225px\" size=\"small\"><\/fb:like><\/div><\/div><div id=\"attachment_4809\" style=\"width: 510px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-4809\" class=\"size-full wp-image-4809\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/xmas-tree-20161.jpg\" alt=\"Bo and U cozied by the tree on Sunday afternoon.\" width=\"500\" height=\"583\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/xmas-tree-20161.jpg 500w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/xmas-tree-20161-300x350.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/xmas-tree-20161-257x300.jpg 257w, https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/xmas-tree-20161-172x200.jpg 172w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-4809\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Bo and U cozied by the tree on Sunday afternoon.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Listen this post:<\/p>\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-4802-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/20161220-Post.m4a?_=1\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/20161220-Post.m4a\">http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/20161220-Post.m4a<\/a><\/audio>\n<p>I am more seriously tempted this morning to \u201cre-run\u201d a post than I have ever been. At this time last year, I wrote one I called, \u201cBeing Christmas\u201d that received quite a bit of appreciation. I just re-read it which has me wondering what I can say about Christmas that is any better. I could take it easy today and just re-post it. But I\u2019m not. I\u2019m going to see what is here to say this year \u2013 which feels like an entirely different time, in which to celebrate Christmas.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ve decorated the house and have put up one of the prettiest trees, I think, than we ever have. We had a Christmas party for Joe\u2019s men\u2019s group this past weekend. Our niece Leigh is here from Brooklyn \u2013 it is always so special to get to spend time with her. We will gather with my family for Christmas Eve and host Joe\u2019s family here on Christmas night. I will get in the kitchen this week to make some Christmas goodies to share. All the circumstances of celebrating Christmas are here. But there is something missing for me &#8211; something like a kind of purity and innocence that I expressed in last year\u2019s post.<\/p>\n<p>I wrote: <em>For me the magic of Christmas is all of this \u2013 it\u2019s light in the darkness \u2013 (I especially love colored light), it\u2019s the generosity of life &#8211; feasting and making offerings to each other, it\u2019s feeling an open-hearted, joyful spirit and wishing each other goodwill. To me, this is all part of celebrating the birth of the Christ spirit, that lives in all of us \u2013 in all of life, really \u2013 whether we are \u201cChristian\u201d or not.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>There are several people close to me who are navigating extreme challenges: my other mom\u2019s first holiday season without Dad &#8211; after 63 years of marriage, the lovely person who keeps our accounting in good order is bravely recovering from major surgery, my Godmother is struggling as she does life while caring for the love of her life as he gets older. In the face of this, what \u201creason\u201d do I have to have such a heavy heart? But I know I\u2019m not alone. There is a darkness that has been revealed that brings with it enormous uncertainty for what will happen to us all.<\/p>\n<p>When I left the grocery store yesterday evening, I ended up in a conversation with the guy who was ringing the bell for the Salvation Army. He was black and we had a gentle conversation about living lives from inside bodies, with different \u201ccomplexions,\u201d as he called them. Then the conversation moved to his very dark view of things: money, politics, race, conspiracy. He reads a lot, he told me, and it seems he reads a whole lot about the dark forces that some say are in play in our world. I won\u2019t repeat what he told me \u2013 spreading darkness is not what I\u2019m here to do. But I walked to the car shivering with fear, at the possibility that what he says may be true. \u00a0I will not indulge my curiosity by investigating the veracity of what he said \u2013 and, yet I do acknowledge that darkness exists.<\/p>\n<p>My compulsion to expand my understanding and capacity to hold life\u2019s circumstances as it evolves is alive and well \u2013 especially in the past several weeks. I want to have context &#8211; to attempt to assign <em>meaning<\/em> to what is happening. It\u2019s like I can\u2019t survive this fear if I\u2019m untethered to some bigger picture. I keep feeling like human life is on the cusp of a transformation \u2013 like the times I\u2019ve lived through &#8211; when personal upheaval was the catalyst that led to the next version of me. In these times though, I <em>was<\/em> completely untethered. There were months and months that I had no idea what the future would hold or how long this would last. Regardless of how much I want to be able to, I don\u2019t think it\u2019s possible to <em>think<\/em> our way through real transformation. We <em>can\u2019t figure it out<\/em>. We must sail away from the shoreline of the old version of reality before we reach the shores of the new.<\/p>\n<p>In the face of this I\u2019m living these questions: How do I \u2013 as a person born to express with color and light &#8211; stay connected, to all that is good in the face of this darkness? Where\u2019s the place between head-in-the sand and lost-in-despair? What does it mean for the feminine to value itself, as I wrote about last week? And what does it mean to celebrate Christmas from <em>this<\/em> place \u2013 which feels more like post-resurrection-Easter Saturday than it does celebrating the advent of the Christ-spirit?<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve been thinking about that first Christmas post-divorce when I spent Christmas Eve all alone in my new little house. Dressed in a big baggy sweatshirt with the sleeves pushed up to my elbows, latex house paint in my hair, I sat on a rolled up piece of carpet in front of a Duraflame log in the fireplace. I feasted on a glass of Chardonnay and a Marie Callendar\u2019s chicken pie. And I was blissfully happy. It was a stripped down celebration. Simple. If that were how I spent every Christmas Eve, it would be sad. And it was what felt right that year. We suffer less if we do what feels congruent to our lives at the time.<\/p>\n<p>This year I have zero motivation to go Christmas shopping. I\u2019ve been cleaning out closets and culling away unused belongings \u2013 I\u2019m responding to a feeling that we are drowning in \u201cstuff\u201d in this house. So I can\u2019t imagine gathering more of it for others. I\u2019m even resisting sending out emails to you all reminding you of the ways that you could give gifts of my wares \u2013 the art, mugs and calendars \u2013 even though they provide light and color to the world.<\/p>\n<p>What I still do want to do is paint \u2013 my creative life is my haven \u2013 along with a gentle inner-reminder to take tender care of myself. There\u2019s so much harshness; tenderness is in order. I\u2019ve gone to bed before 9:30 twice in the past week. The deep sleep that follows going to bed this early is a miracle for my body and soul. What does feel right to me is to do less, read less, rest more.<\/p>\n<p>On Saturday, I got a call from my dear friend Julia. She called not because she needed anything, not because she had a question or any particular purpose, except to say she was grateful for me in her life and that she loved me. <em>This<\/em>\u00a0feels like Christmas to me. As we talked, we found ourselves exploring Christmas spirit \u2013 the sparkly magic of Christmas morning \u2013 what I feel in wishing someone a \u201cMerry Christmas\u201d that isn\u2019t there in \u201cHappy Holidays\u201d or worse \u201chave a good holiday.\u201d Julia said \u201cChristmas is for everyone.\u201d This kind of Christmas does not require you to believe in anything.<\/p>\n<p>I read once that the time of births of great people \u2013 like MLK Jr and Abraham Lincoln aren\u2019t widely celebrated until they\u2019ve grown to live lives that have had enormous impact. It\u2019s a retroactive thing. The real impact of the birth that was the \u201cFirst Christmas\u201d wasn\u2019t known until that baby grew to show the world what it means to love each other in a revolutionary way. As we witness the darkness, the horrors of refugees, of assassinations of diplomats, of drug-addicted people living in the streets and those who grieve the loss of someone they love, in the face of this we still find it in us to connect and share our love for each other. What comes to me now might sound trite. But things become trite because they are said over and over \u2013 which means they must contain truth. I am holding on to this: the light of Christmas is eternal, ever-present human connection \u2013 the light of Christmas is love.<\/p>\n<p>Merry Christmas. Love,<\/p>\n<p>Cara<\/p>\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Listen this post: I am more seriously tempted this morning to \u201cre-run\u201d a post than I have ever been. At this time last year, I wrote one I called, \u201cBeing Christmas\u201d that received quite a bit of appreciation. I just re-read it which has me wondering what I can say about Christmas that is any [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4802","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-stories"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>December 20, 2016 - The light of Christmas - Life in Full Color<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/december-20-2016-light-christmas\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"December 20, 2016 - The light of Christmas - Life in Full Color\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Listen this post: I am more seriously tempted this morning to \u201cre-run\u201d a post than I have ever been. 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