{"id":5403,"date":"2017-11-01T11:01:14","date_gmt":"2017-11-01T18:01:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/?p=5403"},"modified":"2017-11-01T11:54:04","modified_gmt":"2017-11-01T18:54:04","slug":"november-1-2017-making-friends-challenge","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeinfullcolor.com\/dev\/life-stories\/november-1-2017-making-friends-challenge\/","title":{"rendered":"November 1, 2017 – Making friends with challenge"},"content":{"rendered":"
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The view of Bon Tempe Lake I was rewarded with this past Sunday morning after huffing and puffing up a steep grade near where I live.<\/p><\/div>\n

My hope and intention when I decided to hike 60 miles up and back to the summit of Mount Whitney this summer was to give myself a physical test.\u00a0 I wanted to know the strength in my body.\u00a0 Though it did take stamina and I ran out of energy on day 5 because I didn\u2019t sleep well at the high elevation, the time spent hiking was pretty do-able.\u00a0 I\u2019d trained enough and the relatively slow pace our guides set for us meant that I never found myself reaching the point where I wasn\u2019t sure I\u2019d be able to do it.\u00a0 That test came when I was in my early 20\u2019s.<\/p>\n

In the late 70\u2019s, early 80\u2019s my parents were quite involved with EST.\u00a0 They did the Training and The 6-Day which inspired my mom to offer to pay for any of her four kids who wanted to do these programs.\u00a0 It was September 1984 and I had just finished college.\u00a0 I still had my suntan from spending the summer with my boyfriend travelling with a backpack around Europe when I drove up to the 6-Day retreat center off of Mark West Springs Road in north Santa Rosa.\u00a0 (I wonder if it\u2019s still there after the fires that just raged through that canyon?)<\/p>\n

I remember very little about the time spent in the seminar room; what has stuck with me are the memories of the physical activities.\u00a0 Every morning we had to run a mile up and around a fairly steep road that circled the camp.\u00a0 Whether or not we were in physical condition to run, we had to pick up our feet, no walking, even on the steep part!\u00a0 There were people lining the sides of the road yelling at us not to stop.\u00a0 This was EST \u2013 so it was pretty intense!\u00a0 One day of the six was spent on a three-event ropes course: a zip line, a short rappel down a rock face and a Tyrolean traverse.\u00a0 I felt jitters standing on the platform before jumping off the zip line, but flying down to the field below was a completely thrilling experience.\u00a0 And I loved<\/em> the rappel \u2013 I found it super fun and freeing bouncing back off the rocks.\u00a0 But the Tyrolean traverse pushed me in a way I\u2019ve not been pushed \u2013 before or since.<\/p>\n

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Crossing a river via Tyrolean traverse. (Image from Flickr).<\/p><\/div>\n

A Tyrolean traverse is, according to Wikipedia, a method of crossing through free space between two high points on a rope<\/em>.\u00a0 Hanging from the center of your body from the rope, you kick off across the canyon, head first, pulling yourself hand over hand on the rope above your head, feet and legs dangling. The first part was fun – an easy glide down. Across the middle it got a bit harder, but I did fine.\u00a0 The challenge came in getting myself back up the other side, using just the strength of my arms.\u00a0 This was so incredibly hard<\/em>! I was convinced that I did not have the strength to do it.<\/p>\n

Again there was the cheering\/yelling section telling me to keep going – and to stop trying to use my feet to propel me along the rope – and<\/em> to stop telling myself I couldn\u2019t do this.\u00a0 I was pulling with all my might and I was going nowhere<\/em>.\u00a0 Though I was not quite 23 years old and had just carried a backpack for three months, my arms just weren\u2019t up to the task; my natural strength has always been in my lower body.\u00a0 Ultimately, I did do it; I remember sort of coming-to on the other side, amid the cheering of my group.\u00a0 But the act of actually pulling my body up that damned rope happened in a complete memory black-out.\u00a0 I ended up being very thankful that this was our group\u2019s first event and it was all downhill from there (actually the other two events literally were all downhill<\/em>!).<\/p>\n

Reflecting on this experience more than 30 years later, I don\u2019t feel a great sense of accomplishment.\u00a0 I do appreciate knowing that when pushed, I did<\/em> do more than I thought I could, but I still find it sort of disturbing that it was so hard for me that I have zero memory of actually doing it.\u00a0 Possibly because I don\u2019t remember feeling any sense of triumph, it wasn\u2019t enough to have satisfied me that I am<\/em> strong.\u00a0 I still felt the need for the Mount Whitney experience.<\/p>\n

I stayed with my friend Stephanie before and after the Whitney hike.\u00a0 I got back to her place late in the afternoon on Saturday, the last day of the hike.\u00a0 All I wanted was to take a shower, to wash my filthy clothes and to rest<\/em>.\u00a0 She worked part of the day on Sunday, so I spent some time writing about the experience to share with you.\u00a0 When Steff came home, she wanted to take me to where she and her puppy dog, Chumley hike.\u00a0 A short, steep drive back up to the eastern flank of the Sierra Nevada mountains near her house in Big Pine and I was hiking \u2013 again!\u00a0 With my hiking boots and poles, heading up a steep, switchback trail\u2026 I had just done 60 miles and 11,700 feet of elevation gain (and loss) and here I was the next day, hiking<\/em>!<\/p>\n

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The trail and the view that was the reward – the day after my big hike.<\/p><\/div>\n

I remember saying to Steff that I felt differently about hiking uphill than before I started my training in the spring.\u00a0 I used to dread hills \u2013 voices in my head telling me: stop here, this is far enough, you\u2019ve done enough<\/em> \u2013 before I was at the top.\u00a0 These voices were constant!\u00a0 But after getting through many steep ascents, one step at a time, this shifted.\u00a0 I realized I had a new relationship with challenging myself.<\/p>\n

Looking at all of this today, I see the contrast between these two experiences.\u00a0 With the Tyrolean traverse there was no reward other than having gotten to the other side.\u00a0 Whereas hiking hills nearly always ends in taking in a spectacular view \u2013 beauty is motivating<\/em>!\u00a0 I was elated taking in the 360-degree view from the top of Mount Whitney.\u00a0 There was also a difference in the spirit of the support I was given.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t find the cheering very helpful; I remember feeling like I was wrong for my wanting to give up \u2013 no understanding or even acknowledgement of it.<\/p>\n

I wonder what would have happened if instead of yelling at me, the leader or someone I trusted had quietly spoken to me, honoring my struggle and then asked me to go deep inside myself and find the place where more strength than I knew I had was to be found.\u00a0 I bet I\u2019d have remembered getting to the other side.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t end up needing this kind of support from our Whitney guides \u2013 I chose to get myself through my exhausted hours on my own, but I witnessed them supporting others through hard spots – and the quality of the interaction \u2013 the kindness and connection with my fellow hikers – was loving and lovely.<\/p>\n

Doing what\u2019s hard is\u2026 hard<\/em>.\u00a0 It\u2019s a lot easier to not<\/em> take on our challenges.\u00a0 And I\u2019m convinced that doing so is what it means to be really alive.\u00a0 What I\u2019ve learned from these physical tests applies to doing other things – like learning to paint and pushing ourselves to take on greater challenge with our art.\u00a0 The support and the environment so matters<\/em>.\u00a0 It helps enormously to have the struggle normalized.\u00a0 We fantasize about our time painting that it will be pure bliss, immersed in the colors, watching the art take shape.\u00a0 There is some of that, but it comes with a lot of challenge mixed in.\u00a0\u00a0 And this is ok.\u00a0 It\u2019s good, actually.\u00a0 Otherwise you never scale a mountain or have the equal thrill of making art that astonishes you.<\/p>\n

The idea, I\u2019ve learned, is to become friends<\/em> with challenge.\u00a0 This doesn\u2019t mean that it\u2019s ok for challenge to knock us on our ass \u2013 which isn\u2019t very friend-like.\u00a0 Having compassionate support that keeps you in the game is key here.\u00a0 But we also can\u2019t be friends with challenge if we avoid it at all costs \u2013 which is where being brave comes in.\u00a0 The nature of our friendship with challenge is quite individual.\u00a0 We each have unique needs from our friendships.\u00a0 It\u2019s up to you to decide how much to take on and what kind of support you need.\u00a0 Drill-sergeant may be what does it for you!<\/p>\n

Looking at challenge as a friend \u2013 or as a potential friend can shift everything.\u00a0 So, what challenge is before you?\u00a0 What challenge can you shake hands with and get to know better?\u00a0 I promise you (and myself) what we really want is found on the other side.<\/p>\n

With my love and my brave \u2013 and in beauty,<\/p>\n

Cara<\/p>\n ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My hope and intention when I decided to hike 60 miles up and back to the summit of Mount Whitney this summer was to give myself a physical test.\u00a0 I wanted to know the strength in my body.\u00a0 Though it did take stamina and I ran out of energy on day 5 because I didn\u2019t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5403","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-stories"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nNovember 1, 2017 - 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